ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 2, CHAPTER 6. (standard:humor, 1631 words) [6/12] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 13 2012	Views/Reads: 2189/1629	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger meets Digby Quibble then Clarence.

SIX 

When Roger reached the small School again there was someone waiting for
him and it wasn't Hub Cap. It was a middle-aged man who was dressed in 
a smart dark blue pin-stripe suit, white shirt and tie. His short black 
hair was greying at the temples and he had a neatly trimmed grey 
moustache. He stood up as Roger approached. 

“Ah, Mr Roger White, I believe?” he asked in a slightly stern tone. 

Roger nodded. 

“Good, I was reliably informed I would find you here. My name is Digby
Quibble and I am a lawyer,” he told Roger and offered him his business 
card. 

As Roger examined it, Digby removed some papers from a briefcase. 

“Correct me if I am wrong,” Digby went on, glancing at a legal looking
document, “but you are the main character in a novel entitled ‘Roger's 
Fabulous Voyages'?” 

“That's correct,” said a bemused Roger. “What's this about?” 

“My work as a lawyer requires that I investigate novels, films and
television programmes,” Digby told him. 

“Investigate them for what?” 

“To ensure that every so often somebody goes to the toilet to pass urine
or have a bowel movement,” Digby told him. 

Roger sniggered. 

Digby glared at him. “Well you may laugh, Mr White,” he went on,” but I
have the power to stop any novel, film or television programme which 
has gone on for an extended period where no-one has carried out any of 
the aforementioned excretory functions.” 

Roger looked round. Was this a joke? 

“No it is not a joke, Mr White,” said Digby. “This novel you happen to
be in has now reached page 48 and has had a time span of one month and 
yet not one person has been to the toilet. Does that make any sense to 
you?” 

“Oh puck off,” Roger muttered. 

“I beg you pardon?” 

“Nothing,” said Roger. “I was just clearing my throat.” 

“Good. Now think of it this way, Mr White. The average person visits the
toilet five or six times a day. No-one has visited the toilet so far in 
this novel. It is completely unnatural.” 

“Well what d'you want to do about it?” Roger asked, irritated. 

“Why it's very simple. Unless you perform both toiletry functions, I
will stop this novel from proceeding any further. And believe me, I 
have the power to do so.” 

Roger opened his mouth to say something but a very stern glance shut him
up. 

Digby reached into his briefcase and brought out a small plastic
container. He unscrewed the top and handed the container to Roger. 
“Urine sample,” he ordered. 

Roger took the container, strolled behind some bushes, urinated and
strolled back. He handed over the container. 

Digby glanced at it. He held it up to the light and noted the colour.
Satisfied, he poured it into the grass. Next he handed Roger a toilet 
roll and a small shovel. “Don't need to see it. Just bury it,” he 


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