The Holy Deflowering of Princess Saucisson (standard:romance, 391 words)
Author: GXD	Added: Oct 15 2008	Views/Reads: 5762/2093	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Managing a small kingdom can be disconcerting at the least, until the tasty young prince arrives.

THE HOLY DEFLOWERING OF PRINCESS SAUCISSON 

Once upon a time, in a regime bounded by religious tenets and sexual 
inhibitions, the virgin Princess Saucisson reigned supreme. Her naive 
edicts governed trade, commerce, art and industry. 

When she was still a beanie weenie, the Princess obeyed her father,
Frank Furter III of Braunschweig; but now that she ruled the kingdom, 
knackwurst was strictly forbidden, and every family was commanded to 
produce as many brats as they could afford, to pay Princess Saucisson's 
punitive excise taxes. Her conservative pious policies were the wurst 
her people had tasted. 

But one day, Prince Mett came along.  He sported a foot-long weiner
tucked into a pair of spectacular buns, and seduced the Princess with 
relish.  "Heavens!" she cried, as she savored his Kosher hot dog, "You 
are spicier than a Chinese Sausage!".  Her heart turned to goose liver 
as he filled her bialy with joy.  Princess Saucisson was no longer 
naive or a virgin. 

Now Sal Ami was head cheese of the State Supreme Blood Pudding Cult. 
Every Frank and Cotelette worshiped him, swallowing his religious 
baloney. But once Princess Saucisson had a taste of Prince Mett, she 
made Sal Ami hold his tongue.  In the ensuing scrapple between Church 
and State, she made mincemeat of him. 

"You jerky!" she accused him publickly,"How dare you spout such tripe!" 
The Prince came to her aid, but Sal Ami went bangers and attacked 
viciously. With two strokes of his mace, Sal amputated the Prince's 
tenderloin, slit his gizzard, and hacked him into Wiener Schnitzel.  
All Princess Saucisson had left was the memory of Prince Mett and a 
couple of prairie oysters. 

Nine months later, however, Frank Furter IV was born. Princess Saucisson
watched over her itsy bitsy teeny weenie day and night, protecting him 
from the vile giblets of Sal Ami, until Frank grew from a poor boy into 
a valiant gyro.  On his twenty-first birthday, Frank Furter IV assumed 
the royal throne and banished Sal Ami to hamburger heaven. 

The religious tenets and sexual inhibitions of Saucissonland faded into
history. King Frank Furter IV sau sagely what he had to do, and 
abdicated his throne.  In frabjous joy at their newfound freedom, the 
populace baked a mile-long pig in a blanket for their erstwhile monarch 
and his mother and they all lived happily ever after. 

The end. 

Glossary 

Bialy			A kind of Jewish doughnut; a bagel 

Pig in a blanket	Sausage wrapped in a pancake 

Frankfurter		German hot dog 

Sal Ami (salami)	Spicy beef sausauge; in French "My pal, Sal" 

Mett			Spicy German hot dog 

Saucisson		French sausage 

Poor boy		A big hamburger 

Hamburger	Ground beef, broiled and eaten between two bread buns 

Buns	Soft, tasteless, airy bread for hiding hot dogs or hamburgers 

Relish		A sweet-pickley green embellishment for hot sausage 

Weenie		Slang for German "wiener" sausage 

Giblets		You don't want to know this 

Gyro			Greek roast lamb in a blanket 



Click here to read the rest of this story (35 more lines)