Another Coversation Between Squirrels (standard:humor, 913 words)
Author: Rimmer	Added: Oct 03 2008	Views/Reads: 3166/2001	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Follow up to 'A Conversation Bewteen Squirrels'.

ANOTHER CONVERSATION BETWEEN SQUIRRELS 

S1:	Hey cousin hold up, I've got some great news! 

S2:	Can't.  My Doctor said I have to reduce my stress levels, and you
have a knack at getting me all wound up.  Besides I need to walk for 
another ten minutes to get my thirty minutes of exercise in for the 
day. 

S1:	For the love of all the hippie slippers, will you please stop for
just ten minutes.  The news I got is huge! 

S2:	How huge? 

S1:	Bigger than Godzilla's mid-day piss after eating 3000 drunken
Japanese ironworkers. 

S2:	What did you say?  Okay!  Fine!  It had better be huge or I'm
stapling you to a tree. 

S1:	Deal.  Just stop walking so fast.  These heels are killing me. 

S2:	For the last time heels do not make you look taller!  Besides, I
think there's a law in this state about cross-dressing woodland 
creatures. 

S1:	What's a cross-dresser?  Does it have something to do with the
church?  How many crosses can I wear, and how should I dress them?  
What the heck is with that whole scientology stuff anyways?  Do you 
ever think someone will say, “Any fish caught holding an extension 
ladder, will be fined twenty-two and a half coconuts?”  Or how about... 


S2:	Focus on the moment!  Your doing that thing we talked about last
week. 

S1:	What?  Oh, you mean that thing about me talking crazier than a
scurvy ridden horde of howler monkeys on a three-month ocean voyage 
dressed like pirates. 

S2:	Yes.  That's it exactly.  Now what do you do when other animals
start to casually back away from you when your talking? 

S1:	Apologize, and tell them my ranting is a side effect of my
involvement with experimental lab testing of new weight loss products. 

S2:	Perfect.  Then what do you do? 

S1:	Ask them if they've ever seen a leaping anaconda with a tattoo of
Charlie Chaplin dancing the ‘forbidden dance' on it's back. 

S2:	No!  No!  Focus!  Try again. 

S1:	Oh wait, I know.  Excuse myself by stating it's time for me to take
my medication. 

S2:	What's the next thing you should do? 

S1:	Actually walk away.  Standing there miming myself walking away
doesn't actually count. 

S2:	Perfect.  Now what's the news you had to tell me? 

S1:	Give me a second!  My head is spinning so fast I can't remember what
language I was going to tell you the news in. 

S2:	How many languages do you think you can speak? 

S1:	In this astro-plain somewhere in the neighborhood of four, possibly
five and a half.  I can never remember. 

S2:	For the love of walnuts!  You've been listening to late night radio
programming again.  Haven't you? 

S1:	No!  Yes!  Maybe!  A bit!  I plead the fifth.  I'll take what's in


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