Whatever Happened to the Simple Things in Life? (standard:Inspirational stories, 907 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Aug 20 2012	Views/Reads: 3024/1875	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Just when you think life can't get more complicated, it does. Personally, I work very hard trying to keep my life as simple as possible. And I must say I do not get very much help on this part, especially from the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Her i

Just when you think life can't get more complicated, it does.
Personally, I work very hard trying to keep my life as simple as 
possible. And I must say I do not get very much help on this part, 
especially from the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Her idea of 
keeping it simple is not telling me everything. 

This past week I think she went a little too far. 

It was Saturday night and I was preparing for my weekly bath. I had
assembled all the necessary equipment: my rubber ducky, my reading 
glasses and the book I was reading at the time. There is nothing more 
relaxing to me than a hot bubbly bath with a good book. 

Eventually, I put my book up and began the ritual of taking a bath. I
reached for the bar of soap and it felt a little different then I had 
remembered from the week before. It felt as though it had been rolled 
in gravelly dirt. 

Wanting to know what the problem was, I called to my wife. 

"What's wrong with the soap?" 

She then came into the bathroom and said, "There's nothing wrong with
the soap." 

"But it feels different," I complained. 

"That's because it's oatmeal soap," she explained. 

"Oatmeal soap? What do you mean, oatmeal soap?" 

"It's a new soap I found at the Bath and Body store. It's something new.
It's good for you, use it." 

I immediately began to search my mind (I almost got lost in the process)
for information concerning oatmeal. I knew, for example, that oatmeal 
was a food. I like a bowl of hot oatmeal in the morning with sliced 
bananas. And oatmeal raisin cookies go perfect with a nice hot cup of 
coffee. However, I could not find any information in my brain 
collaborating the fact that you can wash with oatmeal. 

I looked at the bar of oatmeal soap and did not know if I should wash
with it or eat it. And, where do you put the sliced bananas? 

To make matters worse, if that could be possible, I discovered in the
bathtub a new bottle of shampoo. It was called Sweet Apple Shampoo. 
There is nothing like a fruity-tooty bubble bath to bring out the manly 
spirit in a person. 

I did not know if I should dry off and be put into the refrigerator. 

This incident only illustrated to me the fact that we live in a very
complicated world. Somebody comes up with some simple idea that is a 
good idea. However, the real money goes to the person who can take that 
simple idea and complicate it beyond all recognition. 

"There ain't nothing simple anymore," my grandfather used to say. And
he's been dead for 30 years. What would he say today? 

For example, take your common everyday telephone. The telephone is no
longer a phone but rather a full communication system. You can do 
everything on your cell phone. 

I tried to buy a new cell phone recently and found it rather difficult.
The salesperson was telling me all of the features of this new cell 
phone. 

"All I want is to be able to phone my wife when I'm away from the
house." 

The salesperson didn't seem to get that fact into his head. For some
reason he seemed to think I was so important I needed all of the 
features of the latest cell phone. 

Do you know I could not find a cell phone that just was a phone. 


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