So, this is summer, is it? (standard:humor, 903 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jul 28 2012	Views/Reads: 2534/1794	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
It was just another day and I was indulging a carefree moment of complaining about the weather. "I can't believe it's so hot today," I muttered. I thought I was talking to myself but obviously, I had an audience.

It was just another day and I was indulging a carefree moment of
complaining about the weather. "I can't believe it's so hot today," I 
muttered. I thought I was talking to myself but obviously, I had an 
audience. 

Have you ever said or did something not realizing somebody was watching
you? 

Every time I am in a restaurant eating, I endeavor to remember there is
an audience and try my very best not to spill the soup on my lap. 
Although, I must admit that that kind of lap dance always gets a 
vigorous round of applause from the audience. Don't ask me how I know. 

I thought in my own special way of thinking that I was alone only to
find out the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was within earshot of 
my remarks. I must say she is rather remarkable. Those "earshot 
moments" are quite extensive. I will not go as far as to say that she 
can read my mind, although I think she can, but she seems to know what 
I am thinking even before I go through the effort and labor of 
thinking. 

I do not know why I even spend the energy thinking on my own. Even when
I do think up a thought of my own and go so far as to express it I am 
always challenged. The challenge is, do not think that way. The 
challenger is my wife. 

Life would be so much easier, not to mention less stressful, if I just
would quit thinking my own thoughts. It is when I am thinking my own 
thoughts that I get into trouble. Life would be so much easier if I 
allowed someone else to think my thoughts for me. After all, isn't that 
why men get married? Why women get married still baffles me. 

Getting back to my moment of complaining. "I can't believe," I muttered,
"it's so hot today." To which, my wife said, "Don't you know it's 
summer? And don't you know that it's supposed to be hot during the 
summer?" 

I did know that but it did not make the heat any more bearable. Then she
said something that rather confused me. I have been confused before. 
Confusion is a familiar territory to me. But this confusion was 
different. 

"If," my wife said rather sternly, "you can't stand the heat get out of
the kitchen." 

What the kitchen had to do with it being hot outside is way beyond my
pay scale. There was a brief moment when I almost threw caution to the 
wind and asked my wife what she meant by that comment. Boy, am I glad I 
didn't. 

I make it a practice to stay as far away from the kitchen as possible,
especially when my wife is present. There is something about a kitchen 
that makes me rather nervous to the point of dropping her favorite cup 
and having it break all over the floor. I stay out of the kitchen heat 
or no heat. 

"If I remember correctly," my wife said as she stared at me rather
intently, "a few months ago you were complaining about how cold it 
was." She was right. It was not but a few months ago, I was complaining 
that it was so cold outside that I just could not bear it. 

"You're going to have to make up your mind." That was a serious
admonition from her. For her to tell me to make up my mind sends some 
very contradictory messages to me. After all, she is forever making up 
my mind for me. She seems to know exactly what I want at the restaurant 
and before I can get a word in edgewise or otherwise, she has ordered 
for me. I'm not complaining. She knows exactly what I want. 

"Either," she continued, "it's too hot or it's too cold. Now make up
your mind." 

I smiled demurely in her direction and nodded in the affirmative. Not
wanting to further the conversation I whispered very gently, "Yes, 
dear." It concluded our tête-à-tête. 



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