ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 3, CHAPTER 3. (standard:humor, 1939 words) [3/10] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 16 2012	Views/Reads: 2291/1595	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger listens to Doris, Thropely and Stan reminiscing about life on Earth.

THREE 

After dinner, everyone strolled back through to the lounge. Roger told
them all that he was eventually heading to New Earth but nobody seemed 
keen on joining him. Thropely and Stan got out their pipes. Doris got 
out her knitting. Sir Ashley got out his head on more whisky. Fed, the 
alien travelling salesman, excused himself and went up to his room to 
masturbate or so he said but it was probably to read a good book. 

Thropely puffed away contentedly on his pipe for a few moments then
frowned. “Who's that young lad there?” he asked, pointing his pipe at a 
young boy of about twelve. 

“That's Wilf,” Doris told him. “Our son.” 

Thropely raised an eyebrow. “Wondered why he were always eatin wi us,”
he remarked. 

Roger glanced out the window. It was getting dark and heavy rain was
falling. 

“Nip down t' corner shop an get us some pipe tobacco, young Wilf,” said
Stan. 

Wilf's face fell and Roger felt sorry for him. ‘That's a bit much –
sending a young boy out in weather like this,' he thought, glancing 
again at the rain. 

“But Stan,” bleated Wilf, “alien in shop always interferes wi me!” 

Roger's mouth dropped open. 

“That's nowt,” scoffed Thropely. “Ah can remember days when whole pit
used t' interfere wi young lads like you!” 

“That's right, Thropely,” agreed Stan. “Young lad would come in for his
first day an some o us would grab him. There he'd be, spread-eagled 
over coal cart wi half o backshift lined up t' paddle him!” 

“I say, didn't the parents complain!?” asked a shocked Roger. 

Thropely and Stan laughed. Doris cackled. 

“Aye they complained,” Thropely told him. “They used t' come up an say
they'd charge us wi interferin wi minor.” 

“'But lad's not miner!' we'd say,” Stan explained, “'Lad's only
apprentice miner!'” 

“That used t' throw 'em!” said Thropely. “Then they'd laugh an see funny
side o incident. See it were just light-hearted prank by workin class 
t' take sting out o daily grind!” 

Roger frowned but decided against asking for an explanation. 

“Go on t' shop then, our Wilf,” Doris said. “An get us a nice brown loaf
when yer there. Hidden brass band'll play ye there an back. Just like 
in old adverts on tv.” 

Grumbling, Wilf put on his cloth cap and left by the French windows. As
he opened one, a brass band could be heard playing. The music stopped 
when he closed the window. 

“Aye them were grand days,” Thropely said and sighed. “Young lads these
days don't know they're born.” 

“Just like foetus,” added Doris, “or still born babe. They don't know
they're born either.” 

The others nodded knowingly. Sir Ashley nodded off. 

“Aye it's just not same nowadays,” Stan went on. “Youngsters don't have
same disadvantages t' look forward to.” 

“That's right, Stan,” agreed Thropely. “Everythin's too secure. Even at


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