ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 2, CHAPTER 1. (standard:humor, 806 words) [1/12] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Updated: Jun 14 2012	Views/Reads: 3042/2470	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger leaves Earth and heads to New Earth.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

“Boy—“ 

Loud disco music flooded the bridge. Boy Paddy started to sing along
with it. Roger screamed and picked up a chair and was charging at the 
Computer when the music abruptly stopped. 

“How fast d'you want to get to New Earth?” Boy Paddy asked. 

Roger halted in mid-smash. “No tricks?” he asked suspiciously. 

“No tricks,” Boy Paddy promised. “How fast. Remember – Amanda will be
waiting for you.” 

Roger put down the chair and thought about it. About Amanda. About
Amanda's big firm curvy breasts. He flushed. “Pretty fast,” he said. 

“Well you're the Captain. What speed d'you want, Captain?” 

Roger frowned and thought about it some more. 

“Captain White. Captain Whiting. Whiting. Haddock. Sardine. Herr Kapitan
Sardine. Herr Kapitan zur See, Roger von Wolfgang-Sardine.” 

The chair was in Roger's hands again. 

“What speed do you request, Captain White?” 

The chair lowered a little. “You promised there'd be no tricks.” 

“Oh I was just having a little bit of fun!” Boy Paddy replied good
humouredly. “Can't you take a joke? What speed do you want, Captain?” 

“Remind me of our fastest speed.” 

“We can go faster than the speed of light. It's called Light Speed
Plus.” 

The chair was replaced. “Okay. Increase speed to Light Speed Plus.” 

Boy Paddy laughed derisively. “Nobody can go faster than the speed of
light, shit for brains. Didn't they teach you that in Pilot's College?” 


Roger crimsoned. “I was only joking,” he said. “It's good to relax and
have a joke. You said so yourself. It relieves tension.” He tried to 
laugh to demonstrate his point but it sounded like a hyena with its 
testicles caught in a cactus. 

“So I take it you want maximum speed?” Boy Paddy asked. “So you can be
with Amanda and her big firm curvy breasts?” 

“Yes. I mean--” 

“Increasing speed to maximum. Say bye-bye to Earth. Strap in. Too late.”


“Aaarrrggghhh!!” 

Still torn between saying goodbye to Earth and half-thinking about
Amanda's big firm curvy breasts, Roger was once again thrown backwards 
down the Bridge as the Ship's resident DJ, Boy Paddy, increased speed 
to maximum. 


Tweet