I’m not broke, I'm just financially challenged (standard:humor, 901 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Sep 11 2011	Views/Reads: 2939/1873	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
As I was listening to the president give his speech on the country's economy last week I was simultaneously trying to balance my checkbook. Math was never my strong suit. In fact, when it comes to math, I do not wear a suit at all. I would wear my birthda

As I was listening to the president give his speech on the country's
economy last week I was simultaneously trying to balance my checkbook. 
Math was never my strong suit. In fact, when it comes to math, I do not 
wear a suit at all. I would wear my birthday suit but it is too 
wrinkled and believe me, spandex is stretching it too much. 

Oddly enough, my checkbook balance is never the same as the balance on
the statement from the bank. My bank's haughty assumption is that they 
are right and I am wrong. 

The thing that gripes me is, as much money as I am paying my bank
through all of the miscellaneous fees, I should not have to balance my 
checkbook. That should be a service gladly rendered by my financial 
institution. 

The last time I was in my bank, I coyly suggested this to the teller and
she looked at me, laughed as though I was telling her a joke and then 
handed me a lollipop. Believe me; balancing my checkbook is no joking 
matter. 

As I was working over my checkbook, I was groaning, moaning and sighing
rather deeply. Enough so, that it disturbed my residential companion. 
Finally, she said to me in that sarcastic tone of voice reserved just 
for me, "What's got you so disturbed tonight?" 

At first, I did not want to tell her. After all, it is my responsibility
to balance the checkbook. We have a wonderful give-and-take 
relationship. My responsibility is to deposit money into the checkbook 
while her responsibility is to make sure the checks fly out of our 
checkbook as quickly and smoothly as possible. Then, somebody at our 
financial institution came up with the brilliant idea of the check 
card. Now the money flies out faster than it ever did before. 

Our money flies faster than the speed of sound, but occasionally my
groans do catch-up, and tonight was one such night. 

I looked at my wife, swallowed several times, and then blurted out, "I
think we're broke." 

After I said that, I did feel a little bit relieved. However, it did not
last long. 

"What do you mean ‘we're broke?'” 

The way she emphasized the word "we're" caused me a little bit of
uneasiness. 

"I mean," I tried to explain; "we have run out of money." 

"Why should that get you all riled up," she said with a little bit of
chipper in her voice. Just a little more than I was comfortable with 
under our present circumstances. "The president's on television right 
now telling us that the country's broke. So I guess that means were all 
in the same boat." 

Both of us were quiet as we listened to the president continue his
speech on the economy. Actually, I was a wee bit more concerned about 
the economical condition of my checkbook then the country's economy. 

I'm broke simply because I have more bills than I have money. 

The country is broke because it spends money on things other than bills.
And, when the government runs out of money all it has to do is to print 
more money. The thing that really aggravates me is that if I would 
treat my checkbook like the government treats its checkbook the 
government would have me arrested and thrown in jail for the rest of my 
life. Which, upon further thought, maybe a plan out of my desperate 
economic disposition. For in jail, the government would pay all my 
bills. 

In jail, I would not have a grocery bill. All of my medical needs would
be taken care of by good ole Uncle Sam. I certainly would not have to 
save money for a rainy day. 

Further consideration brought me to the conclusion that I may not like


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