Everything old is getting older still (standard:humor, 962 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jan 09 2011	Views/Reads: 3073/1989	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A friend of mine has a saying, "I'm going to get as old as I possibly can get." From what I can tell, he has. I must agree with his sentiment. Of course, the alternative is… well you know. Another friend of mine likes to tell me, "Brother,

A friend of mine has a saying, "I'm going to get as old as I possibly
can get." From what I can tell, he has. I must agree with his 
sentiment. Of course, the alternative is... well you know. Another 
friend of mine likes to tell me, "Brother, you're only as old as you 
feel." I am not sure how old feels or if wrinkles are involved. But, I 
am feeling quite fine, thank you. 

Just the other day the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came in from
her workshop, sat down on the couch and said, "Whew, I feel like a 
hundred." 

At the time, I did not know if she was talking about dollars, pounds or
years. Being the old fogey that I am, I know there are times when 
silence is golden and this was one of those golden moments. But, what 
does a hundred feel like? Is there some special sensation that pulsates 
through the body when a person reaches that age level? Or, is it the 
absence of anything pulsating through your body? 

Just this morning I got up with a sore knee and could hardly walk to the
bathroom. I complained about it to my wife, who has no compunction 
about expressing her opinions, said, "Well, you are older than when you 
went to bed last night." 

I did not know I was aging so rapidly. If this keeps up, I will change
from an old fogey into an old geezer before I know it. The difference 
between an old fogey and an old geezer is, an old fogey walks around in 
a fog while the old geezer cannot get up from his chair and wheezes a 
lot. 

I was musing on the idea that getting old was a lot of trouble with a
lot of pain involved. Then I remembered what a lot of trouble and pain 
it was to be young. As a youngster, I thought many times, "Oh, I can't 
wait to get old." I thought getting older was the panacea for all of my 
problems. 

I remember thinking that when I got older nobody would boss me around. I
would do whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it. I could 
not wait for that time to come. I dreamed of that mystical land. No 
parents to boss me around; no teachers to tell me what to do and when 
to do it; no siblings interfering with my plans for the day. What a 
life I would lead when I got older. I lived each day hoping to get 
older which, in my thinking, was the door into that area. 

Just as I was entering that mysterious realm of being my own boss, I got
married. Not only that, but several years into that marital bliss came 
the pitter-patter of little feet in the hallway. I did not figure that 
getting older would involve so many people in my life. Just going to 
the bathroom, for example, was a three-day wait. And, guess who is at 
the bottom of the list? I guess you know you have gotten old when you 
give up the idyllic idea of being your own boss, doing whatever you 
want to do, whenever you want to do it. 

Now that I think of it, it was a lot more painful and a lot more
troublesome to be young than it is to be old. In fact, there are some 
marvelous advantages of getting older. 

For example, when my wife sends me to the grocery store to get a few
things I usually forget something. Now, that I am getting older, I can 
tell her that I do not remember things as I used to, after all, I'm 
getting older. 

Also, when someone invites me to go out and play what they call senior
softball, I can always say, "I would love to, but my knees are acting 
up now that I'm getting older." 

This process of getting older has drastically improved my social life.
Every joke I hear is as if I am hearing it for the very first time. It 
is amazing. 

My wife and I were at a social function not too long ago, and I was
having a marvelous time. When we got home, my wife said to me, "You put 
on a good act tonight." 

"What you mean I put on a good act?" 



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