The Last Hurrah of Summer (standard:humor, 904 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jul 04 2010	Views/Reads: 3014/1946	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
As the last firecracker sizzled in the night, I heaved a sigh of relief. It is not that I do not enjoy a good firework display, but after all, when you have seen one firecracker they are all just about the same. The thing they all have in common is they c

As the last firecracker sizzled in the night, I heaved a sigh of relief.
It is not that I do not enjoy a good firework display, but after all, 
when you have seen one firecracker they are all just about the same. 
The thing they all have in common is they cost money. That is my 
problem. Blowing up bushels of dollars in the air does not seem very 
exciting to me. 

But the Fourth of July celebration has a different meaning for me.
Certainly, I revere and celebrate the patriotic significance of the 
Fourth of July and faithfully pray for my country and our leaders. That 
is just one tiny aspect of my observance of the Fourth of July. 

One reason I look forward to the Fourth of July is so I can look
backward and say, "Well, I am glad that's over." And truer words have 
never dribbled from my lips. 

The prized significance of the Fourth of July celebration for me is that
it is the last holiday of the summer. I may be wrong here, but it seems 
that every month has some kind of celebration in it. Beginning with 
Thanksgiving all the way through to the Fourth of July there is 
something to celebrate every month. I sometimes forget what I am 
celebrating. 

Now the Fourth of July celebrations over we do not have anything to look
forward to until Thanksgiving. I know there is Labor Day, but what I 
like about this holiday is that it specializes in no labor. Then of 
course, there is Halloween where people dress funny and try to scare 
one another. However, I do not pay too much attention to this holiday. 
I dress funny all year and plenty of people think I am quite scary 
looking. 

Now, the rest of the summer is free from any kind of silly intrusions. I
do not have to be concerned about a holiday until Thanksgiving when I 
usually stuff myself like a turkey. 

Stretching out before me like a grand Eldorado of titillating pleasure
is a wonderful stretch of no holidays. This means I can get back to my 
plans for the summer. Actually, I have the same plans for every summer, 
which alleviates the necessity of thinking up something new to do for 
the summer. What I did last summer I plan to do this summer but with a 
lot less gusto than last summer. 

What are my plans for the summer? I'm glad you asked. I plan this summer
to vigorously practice my loafing skills. I have been doing this every 
summer as far back as I can remember and I have yet to reach that 
plateau of perfection. Of course, when I do reach that point I am not 
quite sure what I am going to do. 

In the meantime, I shall vigorously pursue perfection in the art of
loafing. 

Some may question the validity of loafing being an art form. That is
because they do not know the vigorous standards associated with the art 
of loafing. 

There is a variety of disciplines related with it. Not the least being,
what I call, The Noninvolvement Discipline. This is much harder than it 
seems. How it works is like this. 

Whenever the urge to get involved in some activity hits, I vigorously
discipline myself to ignore that urge, hoping it is only a temporary 
annoyance. This involves an extreme lack of concentration, or if you 
indulge in a moment of concentration, the tendency will be to act on 
that urge. Leave it alone, is my advice. 

Another aspect of the art of loafing has to do with the Gracious
Mistress of the Parsonage. I must be very careful not to let her know 
of my loafing plans. According to her, idle hands belong to her. If she 
catches the slightest whiff of my plans of loafing, she pounces on me 
like a flea on a hound dog. She can think of more things to do during a 
thirty-second commercial than I can do during the whole year. 

One little ploy I have used that has worked out fairly well. I always
wear a necktie. It is very difficult to invite someone wearing a 
necktie to engage in some kind of physical work. I must say last summer 


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