Now that I'm older, I'm still not wiser (standard:humor, 905 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Oct 23 2009	Views/Reads: 3342/2016	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Getting older does not necessarily mean you are getting wiser.

Now that summer is over and the children are back in school I found
myself indulging in a little bit of retrospective thinking. It took 
some doing but I was able to think all the back to when I was a 
youngster and heading for school myself. 

One of the things that struck me was some of the wonderful advice older
people gave me at the time. The more I thought about this the more 
baffled I became. I must say during my lifetime I have received a great 
deal of advice from all kinds of people. Especially, when I was younger 
older people gave me plenty of advice. 

Now the thing that bothers me is that, I cannot think of very many
pieces of advice that has been helpful in my life. Sure, the advice was 
sincere but it has never made sense. 

For example, my grandfather used to say, "A penny saved is a penny
earned." In addition, he always used to say it with such a big smile on 
his face. At the time, I did not understand it and even today, I am a 
little confused by it. Of course, there is nothing more useless in the 
present economy then a penny. 

I used to argue with him and say, "How can I save a penny if I haven't
earned it yet?" 

He would pat my knee very grandfatherly and say, "When you're older
you'll understand." 

Another favorite saying of my grandfather was, "A penny for your
thought." And I always would respond by saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm 
saving that." 

My father was fond of saying, "Son, keep your nose to the grindstone and
you'll get ahead in life." Well if I did that, I might get ahead but 
without my nose. If I did not have a nose, what would I do if I had to 
sneeze? Furthermore, how would I keep my glasses on my face? 

Like my grandfather, my father would simply say, "Son, you'll understand
when you get older." 

Well, I am older and I still do not understand. 

Another piece of advice my father used to give me, "Early to bed and
early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." I have followed 
this advice all my life and although I am healthy, the other two 
components are nowhere to be seen on the distant horizon of my future. 
I am suspicious, however, that the early to bed part was to get me out 
of his hair during the evening so he could watch TV. 

The thing that really bothers me is that all these older people told me
that when I got older I would be wiser. Now, the question I have is, 
how old is old? When do I arrive at that wise old man stage? And, how 
many horses are needed to pull it? 

According to some people, I have arrived at that auspicious stage of
being old. Yet I cannot see where I have become any wiser. Even the 
Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has noticed this. She never misses 
anything except the one time she threw a coffee cup at me. 

I forget what we were discussing, but she said something like this, "I
would've thought someone your age would have known better." 

I am really confused about all of this. To be truthful I have noticed
that the older I get the more I discover I do not know. My fears are 
that if I get much older I will not know anything. 

Perhaps it is all in the definition of wise. 

To be sure, the older I get the better I am at wisecracks. I do not
believe, however, that wisecracks have anything to do with being wise. 
If it did, then I am a celebrated sage. 

Being a wisecracker may be a whole lot of fun but it sure can get you
into a lot of trouble. Especially, with my better half. Why, just the 
other day she admonished me by saying, "Don't you get smart with me." 



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