Men and Machines (standard:humor, 1122 words)
Author: Jim Spence	Added: Oct 05 2005	Views/Reads: 3571/2291	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Men and their machines - is it any wonder we love them?

Men and Machines 

There are various appliances in anyone's household that are thought of
as being the bailiwick of women; the stove, the microwave, the ironing 
board and the sewing machine are just a few of these. 

(Author's Note: Please, I'm not a male chauvinist; I'm just trying to
make a humorous point here.  I realize that some women get their 
panties in a bunch when any reference is made to housework being only 
the domain of a woman but, truth be known, more women than men do 
housework.  If I've offended anyone, please feel free to write a story 
making fun of me.) 

(Second Author's Note: I probably went too far with that “panties in a
bunch” remark; I'll try and tone it down a bit.) 

Men are traditionally blind when it comes to the workings of most
household appliances.  Of course there are always exceptions, as some 
men do better in the house than some women do, just as some women throw 
a ball better than some men. 

(Third Author's Note:  Okay, that “throw a ball” remark may have been a
bit sexist, but give me a break here.) 

Oddly enough, the one home appliance that men shy away from is the very
one that, by genetics, they should hone in on.  You're probably figured 
out which appliance I'm talking about, but before I tell you I'll give 
you some hints. 

Men, by nature, love cars.  They love the vibrations; they love the high
gloss lacquered paint; they love the spinning of wheels; they love 
adding fluids to keep it finely tuned; they love the revolutions of a 
mighty motor; they love the bells and whistles of a multi-faceted dash 
board; they love having the option of putting it in different gears; 
they just plain love the power of a purring automobile. 

Now, what home appliance meets all of these criteria? 

Why – it's the washing machine, of course. 

The one appliance that men run away from the most, and yet need even
more than women – the washing machine. 

(Fourth Author's Note: I could have added a blurb about “skid marks” in
this comparison, but I thought better of it.) 

(Fifth Author's Note: Look, that last “skid mark” reference wasn't
intended to make anyone cringe; it's a fact of life, right?) 

The washing machine has tremendous power.  It has a wheel that spins
very, very fast.  In fact, if you put a cat in a washing machine, left 
the lid open and put it on “high spin,” you could probably launch kitty 
50 feet from a dead stop. 

(Sixth Author's Note: Now I'm going to have the cat lobby up in arms
with me.  Come on, I was just making a point; I could just as well have 
said a frog, but the Frog's Union of Concerned Keepers scares me to 
death, to be honest.) 

So you have a powerful, rotating wheel – a man's toy.  And you have to
add fluids.  Granted, it's not oil or grease or transmission fluid, but 
it comes in plastic bottles so a man could pretend to be adding oil or 
grease or transmission fluid.  Of course, there's a huge difference 
between walking into an auto parts store and buying motor oil, and 
walking into a grocery store and spending time in the soaps aisle.  One 
is macho, the other is – well, not. 

(Seventh Author's Note: Look, it's really not macho standing in line at
the Piggly Wiggly holding a bottle of bleach and some fabric softener.  
Don't talk to me about what's macho or not, I just live in society.) 

Now look at all of the options on the “dash board” of a washing machine.
 Some of them are, by nature, very manly.  Most women don't think much 
about using a function called Super Wash or Heavy Soil or even High 
Spin.  These things seem so ... so ... well, so guy like.  I mean, 


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