NC-For You (standard:drama, 1128 words)
Author: Lori	Added: Jun 06 2004	Views/Reads: 3455/2289	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This story contains cutting. So, if you're not in a safe place, don't read it! This is a hard story to understand. But, I felt it was a story that needed to be told. This song is for all those that feel the need to cut.

For You 

By: cowgirl_11 

This story contains cutting. If you're not in a safe place don't read
it! This may not be for everyone; you may not understand it. The story 
has to be told, and I'm the one to do it. This song is for the ones 
that feel the need to cut. Though I'm not a cutter I understand the 
need behind it. There is help out there if you want it. 
_____________________________________________________________ 

Shelia sits in silence wanting for the next song to come on. It's the
story that tells her story. It's part of her ritual. She thinks she's 
making the right decision. Now, it's only a matter of time. This 
decision could kill her, or it could make her pain go away. Its not one 
she makes lightly. This is the only way from them to hear her, to get 
them to listen. 

Shelia prepares her arm, washing it in alcohol to sterilize it. She gets
the towel ready, makes sure the blade is sharp. Shelia's mind is numb 
to the things around her. It's like she's in a world of her own. She 
lives with the pain of the past, the hope for the future. Shelia lights 
her candle as she hears the introduction to the song. She feels the 
hurt starting to slip away. 

“To my mother, to my father, 

It's your son; it's your daughter. 

Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me? 

Should I turn this up for you?” 

The first verse isn't as powerful as the rest of the song. It's the
beginning of opening up her soul to the ones who have hurt her most. 
It's the beginning of healing, making the beginning of making things 
feel right again. Shelia is starting her life over the only way she 
knows how. 

“I sit here locked inside my head, 

Remembering everything you said. 

The silence gets us nowhere! 

Gets us nowhere way to fast!” 

Shelia's always been locked inside her head. She doesn't know how to
face the world, how to escape the past. She remembers all the hateful 
words from her childhood, the feeling of being invisible, and the pain 
of abuse. Shelia remembers being alone and afraid, wanting to cry out 
to the world. She didn't have a voice back then. Shelia's bent on 
changing that now. Someone has to hear her cry for help. Someone has to 
pay attention to the scars of her past. 

“The silence is what kills me. 

I need someone here to help me. 

But you don't know how to listen, 

And let me make my own decisions! 

The silence is what drives her to make this decision. Shelia has to make
someone listen to her, before it's all too late. She needs help from 
someone, anyone would do. If only they did know how to listen to her! 
If only they would've let her make her own decisions! She might not be 
doing this now. If things had been different, she might not be doing 
this at all. 

Shelia needs to feel like she's standing on her own two feet. She's not
a robot to do what she's told, at least not any more. She needs the 
release the cutting will bring. She needs to release the pain and be 
done with it, put it in the past. 



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