NC-For You (standard:drama, 1128 words)
Author: Lori	Added: Jun 06 2004	Views/Reads: 3458/2290	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This story contains cutting. So, if you're not in a safe place, don't read it! This is a hard story to understand. But, I felt it was a story that needed to be told. This song is for all those that feel the need to cut.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

The chorus pays again as Shelia gets ready. She wants it all to stop,
even if it's only for a little while. She looks at the old scars. Every 
one of them is a testament of her past, each one she caused herself. 
People may not listen to her, but the blood does. The scars are her way 
of letting people, and herself, know that she is a living breathing 
human who has feelings. Shelia doesn't like doing this, doesn't like 
the numb feeling that come with it. There's no other way for her. This 
is the only way she knows to deal with her problems. Shelia wasn't 
taught any different, didn't have a person she could talk to about it. 

“All your insults and your curses, 

Make me feel like I'm not a person. 

And I feel like I'm nothing, 

But you made me, so do something. 

‘Cause I'm fucked up, because you are! 

Need attention, attention you couldn't give me!” 

With the slash of the penknife she sees each word they've ever said to
her. Shelia watches the blood run down her arm, feeling the blessed 
feeling of relief. It reminds her that she is alive. If the blood 
weren't there, then she wouldn't be there. The cutting isn't painful; 
her life is what hurts. The scars only match what is inside her. 

They made her do this, the voices in her head. They made her the way she
is. She can't escape them, no matter how hard she tries. Shelia is 
fucked in the head. Shelia's fucked because she can't find a way to 
relieve the stress, pain, whatever you want to call it in any other 
way. She's fucked because she has no other outlet. Shelia's fucked 
because no one cares. No one will listen to the pain inside her; but 
the blood will. It listens when she slashes. 

From the first time they abused her, until it all stopped, no one
explained it wasn't her fault. Shelia does need attention, but she's 
not going to beg for it. She's tried that; it didn't work. She needs 
attention to get healed. Shelia needs attention to know that there is a 
way out of the life she leads. But, she's not going to beg for it. 

The final chorus plays as Shelia looks down at her arm. She watches the
blood leave her veins. Realizing that she is still alive, still 
breathing, still bleeding. Shelia gets up to clean herself up. This 
time she doesn't need medical treatment. It wasn't as bad as the other 
times. 

She starts to have a different outlook on her life. Maybe it's time to
get help. Maybe it's time Shelia tried to reach out again. Maybe this 
time they won't think she's just a freak. Maybe this time they will 
hear her, see her for what she is. Shelia's just another woman in pain. 


Shelia may be a cutter, but at least she does deal with the problems in
her life. It may not be the best way to handle it, but she does the 
best she can. She may not be someone you would think of as normal. But, 
then she isn't looking for you approval. The only thing she wants from 
you is understanding. Can you understand her? Or is she just a freak? 
It's not your place to judge her. So don't!!!! 

The song is “For You” by Staind. 


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