Where Do All My Nasal Fluids Come From? (standard:humor, 904 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Oct 06 2024	Views/Reads: 103/36	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
My faith in Jesus Christ is what enables me to overcome the world around me. When I try to do this by my own cleverness, guess what? I always fail. My great challenge is to trust God when any problem comes my way.

I am finally, in what I think is the last phase of my recent health
confusion. My nose is dripping, and I think I use at least one box of 
tissues daily. 

I did not know I had so much of this in my body, and I am not exactly
sure where it came from. 

When I was young, I remember having a bad case of this kind of thing,
and I asked my mother, "Mom, where does all my snot come from?" 

I had never seen my mother as angry as she was then. She looked at me
and growled, "Son, I never want to hear you say that word again. We do 
not use the word 'snot' in our house. We use the phrase, 'nasal 
fluids'. If you ever say the word ‘snot', you will be in more trouble 
than you have ever been in your life. Do you understand me?" 

Well, to be honest, I didn't quite understand what she was talking
about, but you always listen to your mother, right? 

Several weeks later, I was having the same situation, and I said, "Mom,
where does all my sn... whoops, I mean my nasal fluids come from?" 

She was quite generous, forgave me, and was happy I remembered what she
said. I will never know where she came up with the phrase "nasal 
fluids." 

I haven't thought of that for a long time, but it came back to my memory
just this week. I'm unsure how the word snot compares with the phrase 
nasal fluids. I sort of think my mother came up with that phrase 
because I don't know anybody else who has ever used it. 

But as I was thinking about this, I had yet to find out where my nasal
fluids came from. This past week, my nose was running like Niagara 
Falls. With all that nasal fluid coming out of me, I must try to figure 
out where it comes from. If it comes from me, why isn't there a limit? 

If nasal fluids were gold, I would be very wealthy by now.
Unfortunately, they are not gold, and I am not wealthy. 

This phenomenon makes it very difficult to go out in public. I'm
sneezing, and my nose is running all the time. To go out, I have to 
take a half-dozen boxes of tissues. Even then, I have to be quick on 
the draw. 

Everybody has this kind of problem, but I don't care; it's what I'm
facing that matters to me. I have to take care of my own nose, and 
that's a fact with my hands up. 

When I think I've mastered my nose and nasal fluids, I take a deep
breath, and before I'm done, that fluid is running out of my nostril 
faster than ever before. What does it take to satisfy my nose? 

It's too bad my mother isn't around. She's in a nursing home and suffers
from dementia, so I couldn't ask her anyway. She would not remember. 
But if I can get back to my mother when I was a teenager, maybe I could 
find out from her what this nasal fluid is all about. 

I have reached the point where I don't feel the fluid flowing out of my
nostril. Because of that, I don't know if it's running down my face and 
dripping off my chin. What an embarrassing situation that is. 

As always, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has somewhat of a
solution for my dilemma. 

One morning, she looked at me and said, "Why don't you wear a mask?
Nobody will see anything about that because everybody is familiar with 
masks these days." 

This is the most brilliant thing she's ever told me. I never thought of
wearing a mask, which would prevent people from seeing what's going on 
behind the mask. 

Nobody would notice me because many people still wear masks, and I would
fit right in. 



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