I Didn’t Lose My Marbles They Just Retired (standard:humor, 905 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Aug 25 2024	Views/Reads: 148/64	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
the “good things God has done.” Although there have been bad times in my past, it is important to recognize God’s activity in my life.

For some people, getting old is a real challenge. And it probably is for
many people, but it hasn't been too much of an issue for me. 

Don't let this get out, but getting old has been more of a blessing than
a curse for me. I thought it would be terrible and didn't know what I 
would do when I reached that magical retirement age. Fortunately for 
me, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is several years ahead of 
me, so she is leading the way. 

I like it when she is in charge like this because that means I don't
have to wear out my brain by trying to figure out anything. 

When she acknowledges that she is old, I will accept it and look forward
to getting old myself. 

The other day, for example, she complained about her bones aching, and I
said, "Well, my dear, you're just getting old." 

Of course, that did not go well with her. She replied, "No, it has
nothing to do with my age. There is a storm coming, and Mother Nature 
is warning me to get ready for the storm." 

Am I losing it, or have I heard that before? Evidently, she's in contact
with Mother Nature, who messages her when a storm is coming. 

Because I do not like pain, I went along with her story. When she walked
out of the living room, I said, "Tell Mother Nature I said hello." 

She looked at me with one of her looks, and she was not laughing,
although I was laughing, at least on the inside. 

Getting old does have its privileges. Because I'm old, for instance,I
have the privilege of not remembering things. 

Whenever The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage asks me about something,
I reply sadly, "Oh, I must be getting old because I don't remember 
that." 

So far, I've gotten away with that. 

The only problem is that I need to have a good memory to remember what I
don't remember. Oh boy. 

For me, the greatest pleasure of getting old has to do with my eating
habits. 

I can complain about some food and say to The Gracious Mistress of the
Parsonage, "I don't think I'm able to eat that sort of thing anymore, 
it stirs up my stomach." 

Right here, I need to have a very good memory to know what I don't want
to eat. After all, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has an 
excellent memory, and I'm banking on that for sure. 

Certain vegetables are off-limits to me because I'm older now. If it's
green, it can't be seen, at least on my plate. 

Last week, I got caught complaining that I couldn't eat certain
vegetables, and my stomach could not handle it anymore. I snuck into 
the kitchen and got several cookies, and as I turned around to walk 
out, who was standing in front of me but The Gracious Mistress of the 
Parsonage? 

"What are you eating?" She said very sternly. "I thought at dinner you
said your stomach couldn't handle anything more for the day." 

I looked at her, tried to smile, and said, "But, my dear, I can't resist
your cookies. You make such delicious and wonderful cookies." Then, I 
tried to smile more broadly. 

"For your information," she said while staring at me, "I did not make
those cookies I bought them for our great-granddaughter." 

I was careful what I was going to say next because anything I said, she
would remember until the day of my funeral. 


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