What If I Do Have A Brain (standard:humor, 908 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jun 02 2024	Views/Reads: 292/169	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
My father always told me, “Listen and think before you speak.” This has been the great challenge of my life. My tongue does not seem to be attached to my brain for some reason.

After about a month on a health hiatus, things started returning to
normal, and then I had a doctor's visit scheduled for a checkup. 

I don't know why they call us patients because I'm not very patient with
these doctors. 

At my visit, the doctor thoroughly examined me but couldn't find
anything wrong, and then I saw him standing there scratching his chin. 
Then he said, “I wonder if maybe you had a mini stroke?” 

These doctors sometimes over think. 

He looked at me a little bit and then said, “I think maybe you did have
a mini stroke and we need to take some more examinations to check it 
out. I'll schedule you for an MRI next week. I want to see if maybe 
there is any brain damage.” 

I certainly wasn't ready for that kind of thing. After all, do I have a
brain? 

Quite often, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage would tell me when I
screwed something up, “Do you have a brain or what?” 

I've been married long enough to realize that there are many things that
you don't respond to, and this was one. If I would answer, I would 
screw things up a lot worse than what it is. Controlling my tongue is 
the greatest challenge I have in life. 

She will also tell me when I don't get things done precisely on
schedule, “Where is your brain today?” 

A few weeks ago, I was trying to fix something, and nothing was going
right. Then, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage walked in and 
casually told me, “If only you had a brain.” She laughed and then left. 


Our relationship works so well because there is nothing I can't break,
and there is nothing she can't fix. So, between the two of us, 
everything is working out right. 

If I had a brain, it might not work out as it does now. If I had a
brain, I would think things through, and I don't believe it would come 
out that well. 

But now that the doctor wants to check my brain to see what condition
it's in and if I had a mini-stroke. This brings me to a new crossroads 
in life. 

What if, for example, the doctor finds I have a brain and has the proof?
How would that set with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage? 

If they find my brain, I'll definitely keep any pictures they might
have. 

Then, when The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says, “If you only had
a brain.” I could pull out the picture of my brain, show it to her, and 
say, “Oh, my dear, here is a picture of my brain.” What's she going to 
say then? 

Of course, the other side is, if they do not find my brain and have
evidence to show that I don't have a brain, I'm going to be in severe 
trouble. Or am I? 

There is the idea that if you don't have a brain, you're not responsible
for what you do. I have to explore that idea. When The Gracious 
Mistress of the Parsonage catches me up in something I'm doing wrong, I 
could always respond by saying, “Well, my dear, I don't have a brain, 
so I'm not responsible. Here's my evidence.” 

I don't know if that will work, but it might be worth trying. 

The worst side of this scenario is that if the doctor does find my
brain, and he has evidence that I do have a brain, then, the worst days 
of my life begin. No matter what I do, it is my responsibility now. 
After all, I do have a brain. 


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