I’m Not Diabetic But I Am A Sweet Guy (standard:humor, 904 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jan 21 2024	Views/Reads: 367/194	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
My thought was, no call from me could ever annoy God. He is waiting for me to call upon him. Whenever I call upon God, He is anxious to respond to my need. God doesn’t look on me as a spammer, but a claimer of His amazing grace.

Lately, I've been very tired. Which has nothing at all to do with my
age. Rather, it has everything to do with all these spam calls I get 
every day. 

It seems most spam calls come during lunchtime when I'm eating. How dare
they? 

I don't know who created this idea of spam calls, but I would like five
minutes alone with them. If you know what I mean. 

For me, it began with my expired car warranty. I would get calls daily
telling me that my car warranty had expired and that I could remedy 
that situation by signing up with their warranty program. They have 
everything I need, so they say. What I really need is an Apple Fritter. 
Nobody's ever offered me that. 

One thing they did not have was my fist in their nose. But that's
another story. 

Finally, I responded to their calls by telling them that I had a 1915
Ford Model T, with only 896,000 miles on it. I had so many clicks 
following this that I couldn't count them. Thanks Henry Ford. 

The in-person calls are annoying, but it is the recorded calls that I
just don't like. 

I've been getting recorded calls saying that two years ago I had an
accident and they would be glad to help me get the money I deserve. If 
I had an accident two years ago, I must've been asleep at the wheel. 

Companies that call me with a recorded message will never get my
business. 

Then there are those Medicare calls wanting to upgrade my coverage at no
cost to me. 

One of the first things they want to know is my age. 

I get so sick and tired of this that after a while I came up with my
story. 

"So, how old are you sir?" 

My response, "Well, I tell you, that is a difficult answer because every
year my age changes, and I get confused, and I can't keep up with my 
actual age." 

There's a chuckle on the other end of the line and the person says, "So,
when is your birthday?" 

Again, my response is, "Well, my birthday is the day I celebrate being
born." 

I sense a little frustration on the other line, and then they say, "Tell
me what day your birthday is on." 

"Well, one year it's on a Tuesday, and the next year it's on a Thursday,
and then it's on a Saturday, and boy, I can't keep up with it." 

Finally, I hear what I've been waiting for: a click from the other end
of the line. 

I don't think my age or birthday is anybody's business but mine. If I
want somebody to know that information, I'll call them myself. When 
somebody I don't know calls me and asks for personal information, I 
will not cooperate. If these spam callers act foolish, I will 
reciprocate and act foolish to them. I'm a good actor, so says The 
Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. 

I'm often confused when someone calls me and wants me to tell them when
they can deliver some medical equipment that will not cost me anything. 
It will be absolutely free. 

Of course, if I want some medical equipment, I'm going to go through my
doctor. After all, that's why I pay him all that money. 


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