Dizzy Is As Dizzy Says (standard:humor, 901 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: May 28 2023	Views/Reads: 482/321	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I can try to handle everything on my own, or I can cast all my care upon the Lord. The choice is mine.

Several years ago, I had a heart attack, which surprised my family and
friends, who didn't know I had a heart. I was not sure I had a heart 
either until that day it attacked me. 

What my heart had against me to attack me like that I still have not
figured out. 

Two years later, I have to go in for some tests, including a stress
test. 

The date was set for my test, and I wasn't supposed to drive myself
because of the procedure, so The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage 
drove me to my appointment in her Sissy Van. 

That alone was a stress test. Just riding in that Sissy Van prepared me
for my stress test, and I don't believe the doctor could do anything 
more stressful. 

I went to the cardiac place and prepared for the procedure that would
last more than an hour. 

The first level of stress, which I considered the most severe level, I
was not allowed to have any coffee for 12 hours before the test. I 
don't know about you, but I live on my morning coffee. 

"You do know," I said to my doctor, "that without my coffee, I will be a
mess?" 

"That's all right, I've dealt with many people like that, and I plan to
strap you down, and I will have a needle in my hand that I'm sure will 
direct your attention from your caffeine." 

I was then escorted into a room with a  nurse who told me I needed to
remove my shirt and T-shirt so she could prep me. 

I was nervous and told her, "That will cost you one dollar." 

"What are you talking about?" 

Looking at her seriously, I said, "I do not strip without getting paid."


It was then that my real stress test began. Nurses don't have a sense of
humor. 

I very cautiously removed my shirt and T-shirt and sat in the chair, and
she came over and put all kinds of tabs on my chest. According to her, 
these tabs will be hooked up to lines that go to The Machine that will 
begin the test of my heart. 

Getting all those tabs stuck on my chest in the right place took her a
while. 

"You don't plan to electrocute me, do you?" 

She looked at me with a sinister grin and said, "Time will tell." 

Now my stress went up another notch. 

This was just the beginning. According to the schedule, I had at least
another 45 minutes under some machine that would be doing another level 
of stress testing. 

I was escorted back to the room where this would occur and introduced to
two young guys who would set me on this machine. 

"I'm going to give you a shot of some medicine, and you might feel a
little dizzy or lightheaded. Don't worry. It's part of the process." 

That sure was easy for him to say he didn't have to go through all this
nonsense. 

"Just relax. You might hear noises, see things, lights, and so forth,
but you're okay; everything is under control." 



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