When Everything Goes My Way (standard:humor, 908 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Nov 07 2020	Views/Reads: 1276/868	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I cannot believe that I discovered the formula for both of us being happy under the same roof. Why did it take me so long to figure this out?

I have had a certain dream many times over the years. Of course, it
might lean towards being a nightmare if it does not come true. 

The dream is that one day in the week; I can have everything go my way.
The nightmare part of that dream is that it never tells me which day 
everything will go my way. 

One morning I told the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage about my dream
to see if she could give me any advice. 

"Don't you remember," my wife said, "that day was three years ago? You
already had that day when everything goes your way." 

That was as specific as she would get. She never would tell me which day
it was that everything went my way. I am just a little bit suspicious 
about all of that. If I had a day where everything went my way, I 
certainly would have remembered it. 

So, for a week I have been trying to figure out what today would look
like when everything went my way. I came up with a variety of 
scenarios, but nothing came together for me. 

Last night, as we watched television, I seemed to be staring off into
space. My wife said, "You're not thinking about a day when everything 
goes your way, are you?" 

"No," I said, with a smile, "I'm just thinking about a joke." 

“Okay, what joke were you thinking of?” 

Without thinking, I said, "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7...8...9." 

“Will you ever get over that joke?” And we both laughed. 

I think, of course, she knew I was not thinking of a joke. I was
thinking of what the day would be like if everything went my way. I 
just could not get it out of my mind. 

One of the first things that would be a part of that day would be every
time my wife asked me a question; I would understand the question and 
give her an answer that satisfied her. 

Once in a while, I will answer her, and she seems happy with the answer.
But never two in a row. What would a day look like for me if every time 
my wife asked me a question, I answered, according to her 
specifications? 

I am sure that would be a rather frightening day, especially for her. 

As I was thinking about this, another thought came to mind. What would a
day look like when I could accomplish everything on my 'To-Do-List' and 
have time left over for something else, like fun? 

Thinking about that made me smile because I can't ever think of the time
when I had a day quite like that. Usually, I conclude a day thinking 
about the things I did not get to that day. That is what my day looks 
like. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage knew I was thinking along this
line, and so she said most cheerfully, "What would a day look like for 
you if you never thought of an Apple fritter?" 

Only she would come up with something like that. As far as I am
concerned, that would be a terrible day. So, that's scratched off. 

Another thought grabbed my mind. What would a day look like if I could
anticipate every question the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage would 
throw in my direction and have the answer on my tongue? 

What would a day look like for me if I stopped and bought my wife a
present before I came home? A gift that when I gave it to her, she 
would laugh and say, "I was just thinking about going and getting this 
for me. How did you think of this?" 

The more I thought about this, the more I understood that if I had so


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