LIKE A RUSTY SQUEEZEBOX (standard:Flash, 14311 words)
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Apr 07 2018	Views/Reads: 2016/1278	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
18 BLACK COMEDY FLASH TALES.

LIKE A RUSTY SQUEEZEBOX 

DANNY ZIL 

18 BLACK COMEDY FLASH TALES 

1.	GOIN DOWN TO GRANDADDY'S FOR THE FALL 

2.	BURN-OUT 

3.	INTERVIEW 

4.	SALVADOR DALI ENTERTAINS 

5.	SO LOVED BY BIRDS 

6.	TAXI RIDE 

7.	AT THE DOC'S 

8.	QUASIMODO NEEDS A HUMP 

9.	BIG BOUNCING BREASTS MADE ME A SERIAL KILLER 

10.	BASTARD THREW ME! 

11.	SIR PEWTER'S MOUSTACHE 

12.	THE BASTARD 

13.	THE STORY OF MANDEL SHIVERS 

14.	DOUBLE BILL 

15.	AH WAS A-SNORIN WHEN THEY HUNG'D ME 

16.	ANALLY PROBED BY ALIENS 

17.	WHEN IMAGINARY FRIENDS DON'T LIKE YOU 

18.	MY LITTLE JAIL BAIT 

GOIN DOWN TO GRANDADDY'S FOR THE FALL 

I realized I was deranged when I found myself staring constantly at my
sister's legs - I had sawn them off the previous night and they fitted 
me just fine. I planned a stagger round the garden on them later. 

Mother swished out onto the veranda. “If those are your sister's legs
you'll need this,” she drawled and tossed me a jar of depilation cream. 
I caught it then watched as she removed a cigarette from her silver 
case, elegantly fitted it into her slim ebony holder and he smoked it 
for her. “Damn this heat!” she muttered and daintily dabbed some 
perspiration from the air. 

It was high summer in North Carolina and low summer in South Carolina.
The heavy scent of begonias hung in the air and in the lush grass under 
the veranda, green lizards mated, then became enemies, then became 
friends again. 

An open top sports car pulled into our drive and parked. The chauffeur
immediately jumped out the front, then jumped into the back, then 
jumped into the front of a Southern gal who claimed her name 
was....perfect. 

Mother eyed the chauffeur. “He reminds me of a servant I once had,” she
drawled huskily. “I had him on the lawn, I had him in the pool, I had 
him on the veranda.” Mother was still a fine looking woman and her 
clothes clung to her like they were afraid she'd leave them. 

In the back of the sports car, coupé couple coupled. 

“Lawdy Lawd!” intoned a bass voice from the rocking chair. “Tings dem
wite folks gets up to!” 



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