When I’m beside Myself, I’m in Bad Company (standard:humor, 906 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Mar 18 2018	Views/Reads: 1800/1254	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Sometimes, what my hand “findeth to do” is not the right thing to do and gets me into trouble.

In the beginning of the week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage
said, “On Thursday the girls and I will be going to St. Augustine for 
the day to visit thrift shops.” It was spring break and so the girls 
did not have school. It was the perfect opportunity for an outing for 
them. 

“Do you think,” she asked, “you'll be able to handle the day without
me?” 

I laughed, but not too hard, and said, “I think so. Just go and have a
wonderful time in St. Augustine.” 

That was Monday and when Thursday came, I was drinking my morning coffee
and my wife came in and said, “Well, it's time for us to go. Are you 
sure you'll be able to take care of yourself today?” 

I looked at her and said, “Where are you going?” 

“Don't you remember what I told you Monday?” 

Actually, I really did not remember what she told me Monday. She tells
me so much that it is very hard to remember everything. 

“Don't you remember I said the girls and I will be spending the day in
St. Augustine?” 

I had been working so hard all week trying to catch up, I forgot about
this Thursday trip. 

I walked her to the door and kissed her goodbye. She turned and looked
at me and said, “You're not smiling are you?” 

Then she said, “I have your lunch prepared with instructions. Follow
those instructions to the letter.” 

It is not often I have a free day all to myself. I do not need too many
of them but occasionally it is good to have a free day where all you 
have to deal with is yourself. Of course, that can get a little tiring 
when I am dealing with myself. 

I went to my office, sat down and started to catch up on some work I had
gotten behind on. It's terrible when you get behind on your work and it 
takes twice as long to try to catch up. I often wonder if you ever 
really do catch up? 

I was working so hard that I as I glanced at my watch I noticed it was
noon. I love lunchtime. My wife makes such wonderful meals for lunch. 

I arrived at the house, got out of my truck and walked through the front
door and as I did I said, “Honey, I'm home. What's for lunch?” 

As I walked through the door, I got a strange sense. Usually there is a
wonderful aroma of lunch. This time, there was no aroma whatsoever. 

It then dawned on me. The wife is away for the day and I am in charge of
lunch. 

That can be a good thing or it can be a very bad thing. One good thing
was, my wife had prepared my lunch, all I had to do was put it in the 
little micro oven and it would be finished. It was pizza for the day. 

She had written instructions. She said, “Use the third button and set it
for 15 minutes.” Usually, she is quite precise in what she says. This 
time I was confused. 

On the micro oven, there were four buttons. Now, when she said use the
third button, was it the third button from the top or the third button 
from the bottom? 

At the time I was tempted to text her and get a clarification on this
instruction. However, I knew if I did that I would never hear the end 
of it for the rest of my life. She put the instructions there and I was 
supposed to interpret those instructions. 

That is what it means to be a husband these days. Your wife tells you


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