The Soul of Me (Part 2) (standard:drama, 4500 words) [2/11] show all parts
Author: Maya	Added: May 01 2001	Views/Reads: 2940/2200	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Heidi struggles between what she thinks other people think of her and what she thinks of herself.

I couldn’t wait to find Jody.  I was walking on a cloud of happiness as
I made my way toward the Student Union Building and the lockers.  I 
felt like I was smiling for the first time in my life.  Everything felt 
new and possible.  Aaron, the one boy on this earth who had my undying 
affection, had actually talked to me.  Not only did he talk to me, he 
touched me.  He let me touched him.  He wants my help.  My help.  Of 
all the people in our class he asked me, the outcast, for help.  I 
would be able to spend the next three weeks as part of his life, albeit 
a small part, because he needs me. 

I didn’t want to think past the next three weeks.  I knew that nothing
would come from our working together but a decent grade for him and 
more dreams and fantasies for me.  What more could a person like me 
hope for.  I was going to relax and enjoy every moment we spent 
together.  It was enough...for now. 

I found Jody at our locker (since our freshman year we had continued to
be locker partners).  “Look!” I said happily as I shoved my right hand 
toward her. 

“Heidi, don’t you know you shouldn’t write on your...Wait, is that what
I think it is?  Is that someone’s phone number?”  I think she was even 
happier for me than I was – if that was even possible. 

“It is.  Guess whose.”  This was fun.  I hadn’t ever got the chance to
play this kind of a game before. 

“Lets see...” She thought for a few minutes.  “I know.  It David from
your science class.”  David was a year behind me in school, and a nice 
enough person as far as I could tell.  He was really, really shy and an 
outcast himself, though I often thought it was more by choice.  With a 
little assertiveness and a some attention to detail on his part, he’d 
probably have half the girls, and probably some of the boys, drooling 
over him in a week.  He kept very much to himself.  No-one really knew 
much about him. 

“No, it’s not David’s.  Guess again...no don’t.  You’d never guess it
anyway.” I was too excited for this to go on much longer.  “It’s 
Aaron’s phone number.  He wrote it on my hand himself.”  Jody already 
knew of my infatuation with Aaron, so I proceeded to relate the whole 
incident in the library to her.  I left out the remark by the student 
library aide.  I didn’t want to ruin a perfectly happy story.  My happy 
story. 

Okay, I was probably making way too much out of this whole thing.  It
was just a book report, right?  He wasn’t asking me to the prom, or the 
movies, or anything remotely like that.  We were just going to do a 
book report together.  I knew this, but I couldn’t help myself.  I felt 
more like a normal teenager than I had since I became one. 

Jody gave me her version of ‘I told you so’ then went on her way to her
final class of the day.  She was always telling me to give people a 
chance.  Not everyone was cruel and heartless.  There were nice people 
out there.  More specifically, she’d tell me there were nice guys out 
there.  Deep down I knew she was right, but the nasty comments and 
deeds made a life of their own in my mind.  They were stronger than 
anything else.  They lived longer in my mind, body, and soul than any 
good comment or deed ever did.  The good things just didn’t have a 
chance to take hold on my soul. 

Still, this had been a good day.  I was feeling happy.  It was a strange
feeling.  I was so used to feeling bad about myself or my situation 
that the feeling of worthlessness I carried around with me had started 
to feel normal – almost comforting.  Happiness was alien to me. 

I walked home, as I usually did, and checked the counter for any notes
from my parents.  Finding none, I grabbed a soda and went straight up 
to my room.  My room had always been my sanctuary.  It was a large, 
white room with two small windows, one on each end of the long room.  
This room had once been an attic and had been converted by the previous 
owners.  My parents rarely, if ever, came up here. This was my space.  
I had my own computer, telephone line, television, and stereo system.  
Everything was set up just like I wanted it. My computer was on my desk 
at one end of the room with the phone.  The television and stereo was 
on a small entertainment center in the corner at the opposite end of 


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