And The Award Goes To… (standard:humor, 912 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jun 04 2017	Views/Reads: 1766/1289	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Imagine getting an award for completing the third grade! I cannot remember any such thing when I was going to grade school. Our great award was leaving school and going home in the afternoon. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

Rare is the time when I actually am all caught up with my schedule.
Whenever I think I am caught up, something happens that takes that and 
throws it out the window. 

Such was the case this past week. I was very much happy with the fact
that I was on schedule and I had everything in hand. Nothing makes me 
feel better. 

Of course, this is mostly delusional, at least for me. If there ever was
an award for being delusional, I am quite certain I would be at the top 
of the list. The amazing thing about being delusional is that you never 
think you are. 

As I was wallowing in my delusion and enjoying every moment of it, the
Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came and said rather sharply, “Are 
you ready to go?” 

At the moment, I had no idea what she was talking about. And so I
responded, “Huh?” 

I'm not sure if that is really a word or not, but it accurately
described my delusional moment at that time. I had no idea what she was 
talking about. 

“You haven't,” she said, “forgotten what day it is, have you?” 

I was tempted to say, “Of course not. It's Tuesday.” Fortunately, I did
not yield to that temptation and just responded with another, “Huh?” 

With a disdaining look she said, “You would forget your head if it
wasn't attached.” 

I wouldn't tell her, but I probably would not miss my head if I would
forget it. After all, I don't wear a hat. 

“Today,” she said in a very serene voice, “the two grandchildren are
getting awards at school.” 

I'm not quite sure if I forgot or if I was not listening when the
instructions came my way. At this point, I was not going to let anybody 
know, particularly my wife. 

“Oh, yes,” I said getting up from my chair, “I'm all ready to go. Let's
go.” 

She gave me one of her classic sarcastic grins and we headed for the
door. 

Our one granddaughter was graduating from the third grade and the other
from the fifth grade. Unfortunately, one was at 8:30 in the morning and 
the other was it 1 o'clock in the afternoon. It would make sense to 
have them all at once, but what has sense to do in our world today? 

I did not want to complain, after all, it is our grandchildren, but I
think the planning could have been just a little bit better than that. 
After all, sitting in the school cafeteria listening to the award 
ceremony is about as exciting as it can get. 

The chairs that we had to sit on were uncomfortable, which was very
fortunate for me because I was not tempted to fall asleep during the 
ceremony. I believe that was done on purpose. 

Imagine getting an award for completing the third grade! 

I cannot remember any such thing when I was going to grade school. Our
great award was leaving school and going home in the afternoon. It just 
doesn't get any better than that. 

We live in a different world today where everybody gets an award for
something or sometimes for nothing. 

Then I remembered my cell phone in my shirt pocket. It is times like
this that God had in mind when he invented this cell phone technology. 
I pulled out my cell phone and started checking my email. 



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