“You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too” (standard:humor, 899 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: May 07 2017	Views/Reads: 2136/1270	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I must be careful that I am using words that encourage people rather than confuse them.

I was waiting in line at the grocery store minding my own business,
which is a full-time job these days. I have worked hard over the years 
to master this “minding my own business.” I have not been all that 
successful, but I still try. 

As I was standing in line I heard the woman behind me say, “Johnny, you
can't have your cake and eat it too.” 

I did not know the background story because I did not hear the whole
conversation. When I heard that my mind took me back to those thrilling 
days of yesteryear when my parents, both of them addicted to this 
phrase, said to me, “You can't have your cake and eat it too.” 

I cannot remember the reasons that this phrase kept popping up in my
parents' conversation. But I never could figure out what in the world 
they were talking about. 

Through the years, I have noticed people say things they have no idea
what they are saying or what it even means. Sometimes people will say 
some odd phrase or a quote in order to bring the conversation to a 
standstill. 

My parents were not interested, particularly when we were out in public,
for me to carry the conversation. Many times, they would shut me down 
so that I would not embarrass them. 

Also, I never could figure out why somebody on the stage would be
encouraged to “break their leg.” It is a rather mean thing to say to 
someone who is about to go out on stage and do some kind of 
performance? What mean person would hope that someone would break their 
leg in front of an audience? 

Someone said to me recently, “May the force be with you.” I knew the
movie he was quoting from but I had no idea what he meant for me. What 
is the force he wanted to be with me? Moreover, what if I didn't want 
that force to be with me? 

We often say things we do not understand or mean and I am as guilty as
anybody else. 

When something tragic happens some religious minded person will say,
particularly someone on television, “My thoughts and prayers are with 
you.” 

What in the world does that mean? What thoughts do they have, what
prayers do they have, and how in the world can they transfer it to me? 
Usually the person saying this is someone who is not very religious. 

I do not know what came over me, but once somebody, I forget the
situation, said, “My thoughts and prayers are with you.” For the life 
of me, I do not know what I was thinking about, but all of a sudden, I 
heard myself saying to that person, “Thanks but I don't need your 
prayers.” 

Why I said that I don't know, but I do know that the person that said it
to me was about as religious as a dead cockroach. If you don't pray on 
a regular basis, why do I want your prayers? 

But back to my days of youth. I cannot remember how many times my
parents, both just as guilty as the other, said to me, “You can't have 
your cake and eat it too.” 

I am still as confused today as I was then. If I have my cake, why in
the world can't I eat it? After all, it's my cake. If it wasn't my 
cake, I don't think I would eat it. 

However, the most disturbing thing was whenever my parents told me that
there was no cake in view. For example, the young boy standing in the 
line behind me had no cake on his mind when his mother told him that. 

Once when my parents said that to me, I said, “What cake?” 

My mother looked at me and said, “If you don't know, I'm sure I can't
tell you.” 



Click here to read the rest of this story (27 more lines)