Where in the World Does Time Go? (standard:humor, 906 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Feb 26 2017	Views/Reads: 2016/1346	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I remember my grandfather telling me that the older you get the faster time flies. Laughing at him at the time I thought it was another of his little stories he loved telling.

I remember my grandfather telling me that the older you get the faster
time flies. Laughing at him at the time I thought it was another of his 
little stories he loved telling. 

Just the other day I caught myself telling one of my grandchildren, “The
older you get the faster time flies.” Then it occurred to me. I am my 
grandfather. I am not sure how I got here, but here I am. 

It is hard keeping up with things, especially when time ticks by so
fast. Just when you think you are all caught up, you realize you have 
to start it all over again. 

I was complaining about this the other day to the Gracious Mistress of
the Parsonage. Normally, I try not to do any complaining in her 
presence. She has the ability of turning my complaint upside down and 
confusing me to the extent that I have no idea what I am complaining 
about. 

In my complaint I said, “Where does time go?” 

“Where,” my wife said rather sarcastically, “do you want time to go?” 

I had to stop and think about that one. In fact, I am still trying to
think about that one. To be rather honest, I do not know where I want 
time to go. The only thing I do know is, I do not want it to go by so 
fast. Why can't time slow down just a little bit, especially as I get 
older. 

In my confused state of mind my wife said, “Would you do me a favor and
go to the grocery store and pick up some items? I just don't have 
enough time to do it myself.” 

Whenever my wife asked me to do her a “favor,” I believe there should be
some kind of a recompense for my time. After all, my time is valuable, 
at least to me it is. 

So, I said, “Would you mind...” and my wife interrupted, “Yes, I would,
just get what is on the list. I need it tonight.” 

Being of a husband mentality, all I really heard her say was “yes.” 

As I was headed out the door, I heard her say, “And hurry, I need that
stuff for this evening.” 

I looked at the list and there were about 12 items she wanted me to get
at the grocery store. 

Because time was of the essence, I tried to hurry us much as I could. In
Pennsylvania we have an old saying that says, “The hurrier I go the 
behinder I get.” Believe me, much of my life has been in the behinder 
category. 

Before starting out, I glanced at the list to make sure I knew what she
wanted. I got to the grocery store, parked my vehicle and then went in 
and got a shopping cart and started my journey of shopping. Which I 
really, really hate. Shopping is not a favorite thing of mine. 

Starting up the first aisle, I grabbed for the shopping list to see what
my first item would be. I checked my shirt pocket, no shopping list. I 
searched all of my pockets and much to my chagrin, no shopping list. 

I may have left it in my vehicle, but since time was of the essence, I
did not have time to go back to try to look for it. I thought I could 
do everything from memory. After all, I do not use my memory that often 
so I should be in good standing. 

I threw about six items in the shopping cart and then looked at my
watch. I was running out of time. Time goes so quickly when you are 
trying to remember something, especially your wife's shopping list. 

Knowing there were around 12 items on the shopping list I sank into
panic mode. What were those other six items? For the life of me, I 
could not remember. 

I did have an option I thought about. I could call my wife on my cell


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