Tread Lightly in that Sacred Area (standard:humor, 903 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Mar 06 2016	Views/Reads: 1983/1462	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The most sacred area is my body and if I am a Christian, belongs to God. Violating that sacred area, I am answerable to God.

Right up front let me say that in no way am I superstitious
(knock-on-wood). I am the kind of person who believes in the practical 
side of life. One plus one equals two and that is the way I like to 
live my life. No common core math for me. 

I don't like to propagate the idea that one place is more important than
another. I think everything should be on equal standing. If it is good 
for one person, it may not be good for another person. There is the 
apple fritters side, then there is the broccoli side and the twain 
shall never meet. 

That being said, a certain issue has developed between the Gracious
Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly. The area of the issue has to 
do with sacred areas within our house. She has rules and those rules 
need to be obeyed, not negotiated. 

How many times I have gotten into trouble thinking that her rules were
simply approximations that could be negotiated under good terms. Wrong! 


Certain areas in our home are considered sacred, at least from her
viewpoint. And may the heavens shutter in thunder if I violate one of 
her sacred areas. 

For the most part, it does not really affect me too much. I am glad to
stay away from the dishwasher, the washing machine and the dryer. 

I'm okay with that. 

There was that one time when she was away, I wanted to surprise her by
doing all of the dirty dishes. I loaded up the dishwasher, dumped in 
some soap (How was I to know you were supposed to measure the 
dishwashing detergent?) and turn the thing on. I needed to run to the 
store to get something and when I returned the dishwasher was washing 
the kitchen floor. The kitchen floor was knee-deep in soapy water. 

You can imagine the trouble I was in. I had a life sentence adjudicated
against me forbidding me to touch that dishwasher ever again. So far, I 
have been good to that judgment. 

Through the years, we have negotiated a little in one area and that is
that my study and desk is off limits to her. This has been a great 
trial on her part. Several occasions she has tried to violate this 
agreement, but I have always come back with this, “You touch my things 
and I'll touch your things!” It has worked so far. 

I can understand all of these “sacred areas” in our home. I do not
question it in the least, an agreement is an agreement. 

I do, however, have some problems with one sacred area in our home. That
area is the refrigerator. I have been warned time and time again that I 
am to “stay out of the refrigerator.” 

My defense is simply that I never, ever get “in” the refrigerator. So,
technically, I am staying out of the refrigerator. 

Ha ha ha. The other occupant of our blissful domicile, however, does not
find that in the least bit humorous. At least I try. 

It is not that I like the refrigerator so much as I like the items in
the refrigerator. Now it is not my fault because if my wife would not 
put so many delicious things in the refrigerator there would be no 
temptation on my part. I am never tempted concerning things I do not 
like. 

For example, she has the silly idea that I should be on a diet. Of
course, her idea of a diet is a little bit different from my idea of a 
diet. 

My idea of a diet is to watch what you eat. 

Her idea of a diet is not to eat certain things. 

I am not sure how this can come together because I never eat anything I
do not look at first. I am extremely careful of what I put in my mouth. 


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