The Longest Day of My Life (standard:humor, 907 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Nov 09 2014	Views/Reads: 2937/1789	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
When my mind is on the Lord, I don’t mind anything else in the world.

I have known for a very long time that every day has 24 hours, every
hour has 60 minutes and every minute has 60 seconds. I want to thank my 
first grade teacher for drilling this information into a rather thick 
skull. This information, along with a lot of other information, has 
helped me get through life up to this point. 

I also know every week has seven days except for the Beatles, who think
there are “Eight Days a Week.” I am not sure how they got up to that 
point, but I have sometimes felt that way myself. 

Sometimes a day feels longer than the 24 hours allotted to it. Moreover,
I think some hours that are much longer than the 60 minutes they are 
supposed to be limited to. 

This past week, however, brought me to a new level of understanding.
Although every day has 24 hours, I did experience a day that had at 
least one thousand hours to it; each hour an excruciating moment in 
time. 

It all began quite innocently enough. The Gracious Mistress of the
Parsonage asked me a very simple question. I have been married long 
enough to know that there is no such thing as your wife asking a simple 
question. I guess in my old age I am beginning to forget a few things. 

My wife simply asked, “Is there any gas in your truck?” 

On the surface, it looked rather simple and in the moment and being
caught off guard, as I usually am, I answered very listlessly, “Yes, 
the tank is full of gas.” 

Thinking this was the end of the conversation I began walking away. As I
walked away, I heard the echo of my wife's voice following me. 

“Would you mind,” she said, “if our granddaughter and I borrow your
truck for today? We need to do some shopping across town.” 

This, as you may well guess, is wrong on several levels. 

First, why did they need my truck to go shopping? On the surface all I
could see was $'s. How much shopping are you going to do if you need a 
truck? 

Second, the most important angle, is borrowing my truck! A man's truck
is a man's truck. Need I say more? A real man does not borrow his truck 
out to anyone. There is something personal about a man's truck. It is 
the only place where he can surround himself with silence and where he 
is “King of the road.” 

“I didn't think you would mind,” she said as she reached for the keys to
the truck. After some struggle, I finally surrendered the keys. 

“We will not be back for lunch,” she said as she raced towards the door,
“so you are on your own for lunch.” 

Then, to add insult to injury she shouted, “And, you can use my car if
you need to go somewhere.” 

That will be the day! I was tempted, just tempted for a moment, to drive
her car around and use up all her gas. I toyed with the idea and 
jingled the keys in my hand and then I realized I would be the one to 
put the gas in her car. 

It certainly was a long day. Occasionally I glanced out the window to
where my truck used to be parked. No truck. Sadness has its levels, if 
you know what I mean. 

Several hours after my granddaughter and wife left, I got a text. Now I
know why men die before their wives. When I read the text my heart was 
about to attack me. 

It seems, how, I will never know, but there was a hole in my tire
probably put there by some nail. And she needed to have the tire fixed 
and was just informing me that she was going to do that. 

My tire! A hole in my tire! 


Click here to read the rest of this story (31 more lines)