Where have all the men in white hats gone? (standard:humor, 907 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Mar 30 2014	Views/Reads: 2938/3	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
When I was growing up you could always tell who the good men were by the white hats they wore. Bad men always wore black hats. That made it rather convenient for those of us who were watching so we knew who would be winning at the end. When you were in tr

When I was growing up you could always tell who the good men were by the
white hats they wore. Bad men always wore black hats. That made it 
rather convenient for those of us who were watching so we knew who 
would be winning at the end. When you were in trouble all you had to do 
was look for someone wearing a white hat. 

Not only did the good men wear white hats but also they were able to
solve every crime within a 60-minute period. How they did it, is 
anybody's guess. 

Today, nobody wears hats, which has introduced a rather confusing
element into our society. You can never tell the bad men from the good 
men. I know the hat does not make the man but it would sure help to 
identify the bad man from the good man. 

I could name them all off. The Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, and
John Wayne and the list could go on and on. All of these men wore white 
hats and they all took care of the bad guys in their own way. You could 
be sure, at the end the good man always won. There was a certain sense 
of satisfaction knowing that all those bad men paid for their deeds and 
justice prevailed. 

Of course, today we could never do this. There is something called
"profiling." And people use this term as though it was a negative 
thing. "Oh, be careful so you don't profile that person." 

Gene Autry always profiled his men and in the end, justice prevailed. 

I look at it this way. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck and
quacks like a duck, the chances are pretty high I am looking at a duck. 
However, in our crazy world of uncertainty it is against the political 
correctness of our day for me to say this. 

According to today's standards, I must look at that "thing" and not
judge it by its appearance. “Why, don't you know, dear brother, you 
might offend it and give it some kind of an insecurity complex?” How do 
I know but that duck in front of me will be offended by me calling it a 
duck? It is the epitome of insensitivity for me to assume that I have 
the right to call a duck a duck. Who knows, that particular duck might 
think it is a dog. After all, a quack is not that far from a bark. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, confusion reigns. 

During the last year, I have spent a little bit of time flying from here
to there. And the security at these airports defies the intelligence 
God gave a termite. Going through the line I have to take off my belt, 
remove my shoes (which come very close to a stink bomb), empty all the 
pens out of my pocket and submit myself to a body search. Now, they 
have some kind of electronic gizmo that enables them to see through my 
clothes. In 10th grade, I dreamed of such a gadget and I am a little 
provoked it has taken them so long to perfect this. 

Two years ago, I traveled from Orlando, Florida to Manila, Philippines,
through Japan and back again to Orlando. The trip was fine until I 
tried to re-enter the United States and upon a luggage search, they 
discovered I had one of those old-fashioned double blade razors. It was 
something of an antique that my grandfather gave me 35 years ago. I had 
been using it to shave ever since. After all these years of shaving 
with it, it took the intelligence of some security officer to discover 
this was a highly dangerous weapon. Consequently, I was not allowed to 
enter the country with it. 

I must admit that in 35 years of shaving with it, I had shed a little
bit of blood. I never guessed in a million years I was in possession of 
a highly dangerous, illegal weapon. The officer who discovered it did 
not recognize it. When I told him it was a razor used for shaving, he 
looked at me suspiciously and then said, "Yeah, sure it is, Buster." No 
amount of explanation could convince him that it was part of my 
toiletries and he insisted that he confiscate it for the protection of 
everybody in the United States. 

It was a close shave, but they finally allowed me to enter the United
States upon the surrender of this highly sophisticated weapon. Only 
that security officer knows how close this country came to annihilation 
from an antique man's shaver. 

Of course, looks can be deceiving. People who looked like someone you
could trust have perpetrated the biggest frauds in our country. Bernie 
Madoff comes to mind. Sometimes what you think you are getting you are 
not really getting. 

There is a spiritual application here. Some people may look religious on
the outside but God knows what is on the inside. 

"But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the
height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] 
not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the 
LORD looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7 KJV). 

You can fool everybody in the world, but you cannot fool God. He wears a
white hat and always has the last word. 


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