My humble effort at stimulating the economy (standard:Inspirational stories, 911 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Sep 03 2012	Views/Reads: 3716/2	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
All we hear these days are complaining about the economy and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. Politicians talk about it all the time and yet do nothing creative in the area of improving our economy.

All we hear these days are complaining about the economy and nobody
seems to be doing anything about it. Politicians talk about it all the 
time and yet do nothing creative in the area of improving our economy. 

If you could put all the political speeches end to end, there would
positively be no end to it. What we need to stimulate our economy is 
some kind of stimulation that does not come from the government. They 
stimulate me, all right, but not in the right way. 

This is where I step in. 

I assure you I am not running for any office. If the truth were known, I
am running away from every office I can think of, especially my church 
office. I have no political agenda or aspirations; I am just a plain 
ordinary American citizen. I understand such creatures are an 
endangered species in today's economy. I am proud to be just a plain 
ordinary American. I am not middle-class, lower-class and certainly not 
high class. In fact, I have no class at all, and I am glad to leave it 
like that. I couldn't pass the test anyway. 

But I am doing my part in stimulating the economy. The secret plan I
have can be boiled down to one word: vacation. 

This past week I have bravely gone where I have not been for a long time
and that is on vacation. There is nothing like a vacation to stimulate 
many things, including the economy. It takes me a whole year to scrimp 
and save so the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I can go on a 
vacation. But in the end, it is well worth it. 

After a weeklong vacation, I am highly stimulated to return home where I
can recuperate from all that stimulation. My wallet is still vibrating. 


I must confess that the primary stimulation in a vacation has to do with
my credit card. It was stimulated in more ways than I care to remember, 
and at the end of the month the credit card company will remind me of 
all that stimulation. 

If the government does not have enough money in its coffers to balance
the budget, it is not because I have not done my part. Every time I 
turned around there was a tax on something. Do not let this get out, 
but if the government knows I turned around so many times, they will 
find a way to tax that. 

I am not a conspiracy enthusiast, but I believe I stumbled onto a most
blatant conspiracy with the United States government. I am here merely 
to give my humble testimony. 

The conspiracy, as I found it, focuses in on the airlines. I know this
may sound like a far-fetched idea but I can only give my observation. 
The airlines are in a conspiracy with the United States government to 
take as much money from me as they possibly can. Not that I have a lot 
of money, I just would like to keep as much of it as possible for those 
occasions when I would like to take my wife out to a restaurant and 
just have a relaxing evening. That takes money. 

It began with checking in our luggage. Two bags for me and two bags for
my wife equals too much luggage. We put our luggage on the conveyor 
belt and then were informed by the check-in clerk that each bag cost an 
extra $50. She swiped my credit card and even though I am not a 
mathematical wizard, I believe it was in the neighborhood of $200. I do 
not like that neighborhood. 

Later on, I sat down to figure it out and discovered it would be far
cheaper not to take any luggage and then when arriving at my 
destination buy a new set of clothes. My entire wardrobe does not equal 
$100. Of course, on my wife's side of the closet it is a different 
story. 

We got our boarding pass and then the young woman behind the counter
looked at me and asked a strange question. “Sir, how tall are you?” 

It has been a long time since anybody asked me that kind of a question.
Why she wanted to know how tall I was could not be found in the 
corridors of my empty mind. I then informed her that I was 6'3”. 

“I see,” she said as she stared at her computer screen. Then she
explained. “The average height of a male passenger on our plane is 
5'11”. You exceed that limit by 4 inches.” 

I looked at my wife and we both shared a wonderful laugh. Then I look
back at her behind the counter, but she was not laughing. 

“There will be an extra charge for your exceeding our height limit.” 

“Let's see,” she said as she studied the computer screen, “that's 4
inches times $15 per inch which equals $60.” She then swiped my credit 
card, again, and charged it with the $60 extra fee. 

That was just the beginning of the “swiping” by the airlines. By the
time our vacation was over, I was totally swiped out. 

When I got home I meditated a little bit on what Jesus said, “Render
therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the 
things which be God's” (Luke 20:25 KJV). 

I really do not mind rendering to “Caesar” but I just wish he wasn't so
greedy. 


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