ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 3, CHAPTER 4. (standard:humor, 1679 words) [4/10] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 16 2012	Views/Reads: 2225/1580	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
There's trouble brewing on Klyzemadex when the Germans who live there take over the mines and force everybody to start speaking german.

FOUR 

Lunch the next day boasted the speciality of the house – alien's brain
stew. Everyone was seated round the table in the kitchen and a lot of 
small talk was floating about. Doris was telling Roger a story about 
the psychiatric problems her cousin Noreen had on Earth...... 

“It were terrible, love,” she told him. “A sort o paranoid schizophrenia
it were wi a touch o underlyin endogenous depression.” 

“How dreadful,” Roger said sympathetically. 

“It were,” agreed Doris. “She moped about village square for weeks. Ah
didn't know where t' turn. In the end Ah said t' Thropely, ‘Listen, 
ye'll have t' do somethin about our Noreen.'” 

“What could Thropely do?” Roger asked. “He didn't have any medical
training, did he?” 

“Well he had studied psychiatry a bit when he weren't inventin things,”
Doris told him. 

“So what did he do?” Roger asked. “Use some sort of special therapy on
her?” 

Doris cackled. “Nae love, he used his twelve bore on her! He shot her!” 

“Aye, that cured her,” Thropely said, grinning. 

Half-way through the meal the door was flung open and a young man rushed
in. He was wearing old clothes, a cloth cap, boots and was covered in 
coal dust. He pulled off his cap, clutched it to his chest and stared 
at them all. 

“There's trouble at pit!” he announced dramatically. “Sorry about
cliché,” he added apologetically 

“Who's he?” Thropely asked, frowning. 

“That's your other son – Valory,” Doris explained. 

“Oh, is it?” Thropely muttered and continued with his dinner. 

“What sort o trouble at pit, our Valory?” Doris asked. 

“Its Germans,” Valory replied. “Them ones that live like its World War
Two back on Earth.” 

“Bastards!” spat Stan. “They're after rulin whole planet!” 

“They are that,” agreed Thropely. 

“So what are they up to?” asked Doris. 

Valory looked round at them all. “They're takin over at pit an forcing
us all t' speak german!” he said. 

There was a stunned silence for a few moments. 

“Oh no!” wailed Doris. 

“Christ, is this true, our Valory?” asked Thropely, standing up. 

“It is, our Dad.” 

“Ye know what this means, don't ye, Thropely?” asked Stan. 

“Aye, that Ah do, Stan. Ye know how them fuckin Krauts talk - verbs at
end o sentences an male an female definite articles an crap like that. 
Never know what the bastards are on about.” 

“Aye, it'll just be like bad grammar in Grimbledyke all over again.” 

“It will that, Stan.” 



Click here to read the rest of this story (177 more lines)