The Guardians of Freedom - Part 6 (standard:other, 10049 words) [6/7] show all parts
Author: Dan Tana	Added: Jan 14 2012	Views/Reads: 2126/1541	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Teddy visits the author of these stories and tries to cheer him up.

Hello, Dan! 

It's me, Theodore Fluffington. 

I have just come into your world through a Plot hole created by the
neural energies of your mind.  And now that I am here I will help you 
to find happiness in your existence, and tickle away your sadness, and 
protect you from all of the scary villains out there who terrorize and 
hurt you for their own gratification. 

For a long time you have wished that I were real and would help you to
do all those things, because you are so very sick and tired of living 
in a state of chronic oppression and misery, and you do not know how to 
change that state on your own.  But still you remain helpless, and 
unhappy in your life, without a real Superteddy to play with and defend 
you.  So you have decided to alleviate the torment of that dreadful, 
depressing life as best you can, by pretending that I am standing in 
front of you right now, thereby transforming yourself and your world, 
in your imagination, into part of this wondrous fantasy realm where 
such Guardians really do exist. 

Now snuggle yourself up to my fluff, forget all of your worries and
grief, and let me amuse you with a story about the adventures that I 
have had during this past week. 

It sure was an eventful week, starting six days ago when Thumper
teleported himself right in front of me and asked me to come with him 
to his native dimension, where our friend Clarence Dillwater, the 
Mountie, had recently begun to assault and murder people in an attempt 
to please a giant, judgmental, omnipotent mushroom who lives in the 
sky. 

The other Guardians of that dimension all suspected that Clarence was
having a delusional, schizophrenic episode, and did not accept his 
claim that some all-powerful entity had given him the right to hurt 
other people.  This difference in what they chose to believe led to a 
physical altercation when Ace refused to allow the Mountie to kill a 
bunch of farmers for the alleged sin of cultivating and picking a crop 
of non-sapient mushrooms. 

We arrived at the scene of this battle just as the Mountie placed his
gloved hand against a port in the side of his Hovering Reconnaissance 
and Support Equipment, drawing power from that device to recharge the 
capacitors in his uniform and sidearm.  (Incidentally, in the second 
story that you transcribed for me you mistakenly used the word 
'recognizance' in place of 'reconnaissance', and while I find that to 
be an amusing and oddly intriguing alternative, I want to be clear that 
what you have written here is the proper name of that vaguely 
horse-like contraption, as will be defined by its creator in about 900 
years.)  Then he pulled his gun from its holster and fired an energy 
ball at one of those farmers, which would have transformed that 
terrified, unarmed woman into a splatter of blood and meat chunks if 
Ace had not pushed her out of the way. 

Before he fired again I ran over to Clarence and tried to pacify him
with a hug, but his uniform generated a repulsive force field that 
prevented me from touching him.  A moment later he willed that 
protective field to disengage, sending a signal through his hat to turn 
off the force projectors woven into the fabric of that uniform, because 
he wanted me to be able to hug him.  Then I grabbed Clarence and began 
to pet him with my supremely soft fur until the pure pleasure of that 
sensation made him forget, for the moment, about his bloodthirsty 
intention. 

Once everyone had calmed down and stopped fighting I asked Clarence to
explain to me what was going on.  He then opened a small storage 
compartment in his Ho.R.S.E. and pulled out a book that he referred to 
as the Tome of the Fungus.  That book told the story of a humungous, 
flying toadstool with a face and personality - inexplicably named 
Reginald - who predates the existence of all things, knows everything, 
and created humanity several millennia ago by scattering its spores 
over the Earth.  Then, supposedly, Reginald had chosen a small group of 
humans to be set above all others on the face of the Earth, commanding 
those chosen few to utterly destroy certain other groups of people who 
do not believe in that mushroom. 


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