I don't mind flying it’s airports I can't stand. (standard:Inspirational stories, 901 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Oct 30 2011	Views/Reads: 2739/1833	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Recently, I needed to make a trip to visit some relatives. These days, the way the economy and gas prices are it turns out to be cheaper to fly. Even though, airlines no longer serve the delicious food of which they became famous.

Recently, I needed to make a trip to visit some relatives. These days,
the way the economy and gas prices are it turns out to be cheaper to 
fly. Even though, airlines no longer serve the delicious food of which 
they became famous. 

Several aspects about airplanes that give me cause for alarm. The person
who designed the modern-day airplane must have used one of the dwarfs 
for a model. I'm thinking, Grumpy. The seats, for example, are not 
built for the average posterior. I know I need to go on a diet but my 
airplane seat does not have to remind me of that auspicious fact. 

The restrooms do not have any room whatsoever to rest in them. The last
one I was in I had to step outside in order to change my mind. What 
were they thinking when they designed and built these restrooms? 

Personally, I think it is a conspiracy on the part of the entire airline
industry to harass those of us who are diminutive challenged. 

However, I can live with some of these inconveniences. I do not really
mind flying it is the airports that I cannot stand. 

If there were some way to fly the friendly skies and eliminate airports
I would be a happy flyer. 

It has been a while since I flew the friendly skies and so I had
forgotten some of the airport rigmarole that paying customers must go 
through. I am surprised with all of the fees associated with flying 
these days someone has not come up with the bright idea of charging a 
fee for everyone to be patted down. 

In order to get to the airplane you have to go through a very
sophisticated technological gateway. I had forgotten how thoroughly 
they check out their passengers. 

Everything needs placed into a tray, which then goes through a scanner
to make sure nobody is transporting a bomb in his or her baggage. 

Then comes the dangerous part. 

Everybody has to take off his or her shoes, which makes the whole
airport smell as if some bomb did go off. Not only shoes, but also 
everybody has to empty their pockets and take off all jewelry. 

Then, after putting all of my stuff in these trays, I was to walk
through an archway to make sure I was not transporting a bomb in my 
underwear. 

As I walked through the buzzer went off. 

"Sir, do you have anything in your pockets?" 

I looked and found a pen, so I had to take that out and put in a tray. 

Again, I walked through and the buzzer went off again. 

"Sir, is there anything else in your pockets?" 

My wallet with credit cards and such things, which I did not realize was
setting the buzzer off. I placed my wallet into the tray and then 
walked to the archway again. 

The buzzer went off again. 

At this point I was a little confused because I did not know what else I
could take off. Therefore, I took off my sweater. Maybe something in 
the buttons that the archway did not like. 

Then the man on the other side of the archway spied what he thought was
the trouble and said, "Sir, you have to take off your suspenders." 

"Say what?" I said in alarm. 

"You have to remove your suspenders." 

I looked at the man and then said, "You do know the purpose of


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