Mr. Uncle Sam, don't touch my Apple Fritter (standard:Inspirational stories, 907 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jul 31 2011	Views/Reads: 3458/2586	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I usually live life on an even keel. I once had an odd keel, but fortunately, I had the good sense to throw it back into the water from whence it came. I take pride in maintaining a certain sense of balance in my life. But, there are those times when all

I usually live life on an even keel. I once had an odd keel, but
fortunately, I had the good sense to throw it back into the water from 
whence it came. I take pride in maintaining a certain sense of balance 
in my life. But, there are those times when all balance is thrown out 
the window. 

Just this past week when I was enjoying an unusually wonderful sense of
balance in my life, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage changed my 
whole demeanor. 

We were watching the news on television. When I say "we," I am not
insinuating in any regard that I was paying any attention whatsoever to 
what was happening on the television screen. I usually have a book in 
hand I am perusing while I am allegedly watching TV. 

Out of nowhere, I heard her exclaim, "They just wouldn't do that." 

I continued in my book and paid no attention to her. 

"What in the world is wrong with those people?" I heard her say. 

By now, my curiosity had gotten the best of me and I laid my book down
and said, "What has got you all riled up tonight?" 

"Didn't you hear what they just said?" 

"I'm sorry; I was looking at my book." 

"Well," she said in a very disgusted manner, "the government is thinking
about taxing junk food. Can you imagine anything more ludicrous than 
that?" 

I always like to, at least try to think of the positive side of things.
With the way our beloved politicians have been going these days, it is 
very hard to find the positive side. Although I am not in favor of 
taxes, I know that as a citizen I need to pay my fair share. I have no 
problem with that. I'm not, however, in favor of tacking on some new 
taxes. What's wrong with the old ones? 

Then my wife said something that turned my thinking all the way around. 

"You do know what junk food is, don't you?" 

That was a crazy thing to say. Of course, I knew what junk food was. I
stay away from that food category and pride myself in eating healthy 
food every day. No junk food for me, thank you. 

I shrugged it off at the time and replied to my wife, "Oh well, the
government has to do whatever it has to do in times like these." 

"You do know that Apple Fritters are considered junk food by our
government? And when they start taxing junk food they will be taxing 
your Apple Fritters." 

"They don't." 

"They wouldn't." 

"They better not!" 

At this point, my even keel was experiencing some very turbulent
tendencies. I try to be a good citizen but there comes a time when a 
person has to put his foot down. I had come to the point where as that 
old philosopher who said, "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no 
more!" 

What I want to say to good old Mr. Uncle Sam is simply; do not touch my
Apple Fritters. Some things in life are sacred and for somebody to fool 
with them will only rile the anger of those religious people devoted to 
Apple Fritter Veneration. Believe me; you do not want the Apple Fritter 
Gang to get riled. 

The Creed of these Apple Fritter followers is simply, an Apple Fritter a
day keeps the blues away. Nothing cheers the day like starting it with 
a freshly baked Apple Fritter. Regardless of the problems I have to 


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