Lynched (standard:humor, 605 words)
Author: BENTLINK	Added: Feb 24 2011	Views/Reads: 2957/2	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
There are many ways to relax. A good book, a dirty movie, or a rope around someone’s neck.

The Lynching 

"We're going to get lynched, aren't we?" he whispered. 

Nora looked at him her eyes wide, “Well what did you expect after you
cleaned out the saloon safe and stole the owner's horses.  Did you 
think he would just laugh it off and and, and?” 

“Cut damn it cut!  Take five, people.  Let's talk, Nora.  Somebody get
Nora, some coke.” 

Nora's eyes glistened with excitement when she heard coke. 

“Who am I, Nora?” 

“You're Sam” 

“Yes, I know that.  I should have asked you just what do you think my
job is?” 

“Is this some kind of test Sam?  I'm not good at test I get dizzy and
weak then fall over when I don't know the answers.  Please don't make 
me weak Sam.” 

“Its OK, Nora but I just hate to see a talent like yours get off on the
wrong foot so I called cut.  Let me explain.  The story is you get 
crazy head over heels in love with this young guy who comes into the 
saloon where you just started working to get money for your sick dog's 
operation.  So new guy, he gets the idea to steal money from the safe 
while you are upstairs relaxing Blackie, the saloon's owner.  Get it?” 

“Who is Blackie, Sam?” 

“Blackie is not here because we are not ready to shoot his scene just
now.  We had to rent the horses and saddles for this weekend to get the 
best deal.  Now do you want to rehearse the part where you say did you 
think he would just laugh it off and let us go after getting so relaxed 
with me?” 

“No Sam, I can do it for the camera now.  I just got a little confused
that's all.  Did you say I could have some coke?” 

“Maybe after this scene is in the can, OK?  All right everyone quite on
the set OK action.  Cut, damn it cut.  Could somebody get a shovel and 
clean up under that horse.  Just relax Nora; you didn't get any on you. 
 Ted practice looking scared about being lynched.  Ok quite on the set 
and action.” 

“We're going to get lynched, aren't we?"  Ted whispered. 

Nora looked at him her eyes wide, “Well what did you expect after you
cleaned out the saloon safe and stole the owner's horses.  Did you 
think he would just laugh it off and let us go after getting so relaxed 
with me?” 

“Well maybe you should go back, relax him some more and take care of
your sick dog.  You could tell him I drown in that river we crossed and 
then when he wants to know about his money, say you could not find my 
body or the saddlebags with the money.  You could act real happy you 
got away because you were sure I was going to kill you and orphan your 
dog.” 

“But, I love you and I will never see you again and and ....” 

“Ok cut.  Take five, people.  Who am I, Nora?” 

“I know that one Nora says giggling and doing small child like hops
across the set.  You are Sam and you want me to guess what your job is 
just like the old guys do on TV.  My guess is you are the person who 
wants me to get off uh on the other foot. 

“Sam there is a phone call holding for you in the office. 

“Yes, dear, I should be home on time I just have to film one more
relaxing scene with Nona and then savor the lynching of my budding 
female star and her male costar companion.” 


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