The Bailout Plan (standard:fantasy, 5935 words)
Author: Rattan Mann	Added: Mar 12 2010	Views/Reads: 3299/3570	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A story inspired by the global economic meltdown

The Bailout Plan 

A short story 

Rattan Mann 

( rattan.mann@gmail.com) 

Prof. Dr. Rattan Mann alias  Madoff Mann alias Mad Mann, the head of the
Global Reserve Bank, had a solid game-plan without having the least 
idea of what the game was or what the plan was.  He also had an 
infallible rescue plan, again without knowing who was to be rescued and 
from whom or where.  Unfortunately that was not all.  In exactly 
twenty-four hours he had to appear before the Senate Committee on 
Capitol Hill with a fool-proof plan to stop the beautiful and lovely 
Miss Money from falling into a black hole and disappearing from the 
face of  Mother Earth.  If he failed to do so, senator Kennedy would 
lynch him publicly, and that would be his end.  So it would be an 
understatement to say that he was in a fix.  Like the world around him, 
he was actually in a state of nervous meltdown. 

Suddenly he jumped up from his sofa, ran pell-mell out of his mansion as
if it was on fire, and started skipping and jumping, singing and 
dancing on Main Street.  When he was tired of it, he started weeping 
and slapping his own face.  It was obvious even to a child that, like a 
new-born baby, he was trying to attract maximum attention. 

And indeed he was! 

Suddenly he had hit upon a bailout plan which was as follows: 

If he succeeded in attracting enough attention, a crowd of good folks of
Main Street would gather around him.  In this crowd at least one guy 
would be clever and clairvoyant  enough to read his mind, see his 
problem, and as befitting a great guy from Main Street,  hand him over 
a nicely bound copy of “The Perfect Bailout Plan” which he could then 
hand over to the ever-nagging guys of Capitol Hill. 

In other words, somebody had to bail him out first so that he could then
bailout the rest of the world. 

Unfortunately, things did not turn out the way he had expected. 

As soon as they saw him coming, people on Main Street started running
away from him.  Children left their game, and rushed to take shelter 
behind the next block.  They were screaming “Uncle Mann has come back, 
uncle Mann has come back!  Don't panic, but be careful.  Run before you 
get hurt!” as they ran.  Ladies who were sunbathing, picked up their 
belongings and ran after the children.  The very old ones were helped 
by their sons and grandsons.  A Chinese couple who was coming in his 
direction, froze in their track, started talking to each other and 
pointing in every possible direction, stole a last glance at him to see 
what he was doing, and finally pointed to a shop at some distance and 
started walking towards it as if they had forgotten to buy something.  
This polite Chinese couple had gone through all this rigmarole because 
they did not want to give the impression that they were running away 
from Prof. Dr. Mann whom they knew very well.  Very mysteriously, even 
cars stopped coming his way and within minutes the Main Street was 
completely deserted – there was not a soul on it except Prof. Dr. 
Rattan Mann Not Born In USA. 

Prof. Dr. Mann Not Born In USA had no one to blame except himself for
this unfortunate turn of events. 

Sometime back he had landed on the Main Street with the same publicity
stunt in mind.  Words spread like Californian wildfire that the Wizard 
of Wall Street had landed on the Main Street along with his consort, 
the beautiful and lovely Miss Money.  A huge crowd gathered round him.  
Instead of lecturing them in economics, he started singing and dancing 
with Miss Money.  The crowd loved it.  The Czar of Wall Street was one 
of them.  He spoke their language and sang their songs.  He understood 
their mood, their feelings, their aspirations and dreams.  An old, 
black woman started dancing with him and singing Hallelujah.  Joe, the 
plumber, rushed to shake his hand and called him a true American Hero 
even though he was Not Born in USA.  An Apache Indian made him the 


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