Scholars from Space (standard:humor, 884 words)
Author: L.M.Penswick	Added: May 18 2009	Views/Reads: 2905/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Me and Stet had always known Miss Alldrab was an alien . . . the world is a fantastic place when you are ten years old. This silly little story is for all of us who have a teacher that is just too bizarre to be normal.

Me and Stet had always known Miss Alldrab was an alien.  Nobody believed
us; and why should they?  Miss Alldrab was young and pretty with shiny 
brown hair and sparkly purple eyes, the very last person you would 
suspect of such a felony.  Dad said he'd let her take him to a galaxy 
far, far away, but I don't think he would, he hates travelling.  Mum 
said we had overactive imaginations and that we should enjoy these 
while we were young.  We weren't that young, we were a full year older 
than Carl O'Strobenor and he was nine. 

Anyway, like I said, me and Stet knew Miss Alldrab was an alien; so it
came as no real surprise to us when she stayed in class on Friday 
night... when all the rest of our class had gone home.  Stet and me hid 
in the cloak bay and looked through the window on the door.  We knew 
something fantastic was going to take place that day.  We'd known since 
before lunch, when she had told us that we could have free time.  She 
never gives us free time on Fridays, just an hour on a Wednesday 
morning while she does her nails!  Therefore we were not shocked when 
Miss Alldrab looked carefully around her and pressed the shiny red 
button that had been hidden behind her desk, beneath the ugly pastel 
calendar “My nephew gave me for my birthday,” we weren't astounded when 
the huge whiteboard lifted like my garage door to reveal stone steps 
that led down into the blackened jaws of hell... 

Miss Alldrab descended into the darkness.  Me and Stet raced forwards as
the door began to close, eager to uncover the truth and save the 
planet, as we always knew we would.  We made a promise we did, as we 
stood on those steps.  We would finish this together or die together.  
Once we had sworn our oath, we made our way to the bottom of the stairs 
and followed a short tunnel until a bright light came into view and the 
tunnel sloped downwards to reveal a giant underground meeting place.  
We hid behind on of four wooden pillars covered in nails that appeared 
to be supporting the stone roof, and watched not only Miss Alldrab, but 
almost all of our teachers, our principal, even Big Mary the 
receptionist...along with many others we didn't know.  Hundreds, maybe 
thousands of teachers from many, many schools.  Stet and me watched as 
Alldrab and her friends pulled off their masks to reveal their true 
selves...it was horrible.  If we had been little we might have thrown 
up.  They began to talk in a language we could not understand.  Like 
the chattering of animals at the zoo, getting louder and louder, all 
nodding their freakish heads and gwarffing.  Stet whispered to me that 
this must be what it is like in the staffroom and I nodded gravely. 

We had to get out of there.  I was about to tell Stet he was stupid for
not bringing the vaporiser we had made last week when, from the back of 
the crowd, Miss Alldrab looked right at us with those purple eyes of 
hers.  Me and Stet weren't expecting that.  We turned and ran, well, 
Stet did.  My school uniform snagged a nail and I could do nothing.  
Stet looked back at me, as thousands of school teacher aliens swarmed.  
He shrugged and yelled over his shoulder that if I lived, I could have 
his entire comic book collection.  I saw him run back along the tunnel 
away from me.  So much for our heroic pact.  Traitor. 

I was taken to a separate chamber with Alldrab, Big Mary and another
three of my captors.  There was a big black chair, like the one at the 
dentists' and I was fastened down with thick straps across my arms, 
legs and stomach.  Smiling at me with perfect teeth, the alien that was 
Miss Alldrab told me not to worry, that it was only a little 
experiment.  A set of headphones were placed over my ears, attached to 
a large shiny contraption that resembled a stereo.  It had a large 
gauge on the front with a little arrow pointing to green.  There was 
yellow towards the centre, orange next to that, and then a red zone at 
the end.  On this monitor was written “Tolerance Meter”.  Before I 
could begin to contemplate what hideous fate awaited me, my ears burst 
with pain as a voice thundered, “Two households, both alike in 
dignity.”  It was the same torturous sound the aliens had used.  I 
thrashed against my bonds, my ears screaming in protest.  The 
‘tolerance meter' hit the red zone and began to smoke.  I saw Big Mary, 
donned in a t-shirt reading; “My favourite's The Merchant of Venus – 
Inter-Planetary Shakespeare Tolerance Program,” feverishly scribbling 
notes. 

My world went blank. 

*** 

No one believed me or Stet.  Not any of our friends, not Carl
O'Strobenor (and he was pretty stupid), not even when I referred to 
everyone as ‘thou' for a whole week, following my traumatic experience. 
 Dad shrugged and said I should take up scientology and Mum just said 
we had overactive imaginations, gave me a kiss, and reminded me that 
there was no such thing as humans. Bizarre 


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