Five simple questions (standard:horror, 1065 words)
Author: Lev821	Added: Apr 09 2009	Views/Reads: 3788/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Five simple questions can release the insane back into society. Do they walk amongst you? and will they pass the test?

My name is Dominic Melvyn, and I am a criminal psychologist. Today, I am
at a criminal medical institution where of five patients I was 
scheduled to meet, I have seen three of them. All the inmates are, I 
suppose insane. They are in here for their own good, kept away from 
society as they pose a danger. I am helping in their reformation, 
pointing them in the right direction until they are able to walk 
amongst the public as one of them. I have been coming here for four 
years, and I know my patients well. I think I am doing quite well for 
them, as they seem to like me enough to tell me what I ask, and I 
cannot ask for more than that. Of my five patients, it is down to them 
whether or not they take my advice. My next patient, who is due through 
the door at any minute now, is Conrad Holbrook, who cut up his best 
friend and cooked him. After tasting him, he found him to taste so nice 
that he decided he had to let others know of this delicacy, and 
outside, in a crowded shopping centre, he tried to sell pieces of the 
meat to passers-by. Is that insane? I would say that it probably is, 
but you see, I use the word probably with good reason, because who is 
to say who is insane? and who judges our actions and deems them to be 
worthy of removal from society? See, I am a psychologist who does not 
follow regular standards. I make my own methods of treatment as I see 
fit. Following conventional rules and procedures is not part of my 
strategy. I have concocted five simple questions of which I can ask 
that give me a good resume of the person. Even though I already know a 
lot about them, these questions can cut right into their psyche, and 
based on their answers, I will deem them fit for society, or not. Of 
the patients I have seen so far, I ticked the box that meant they are 
ready to leave this place and walk back into civilisation. Ah, I see 
the door has opened. 

Conrad, who was five years older than Dominic walked into the small
office and sat facing him. He folded his arms and had the expression of 
being taken away from something he had been enjoying. He wore a food 
stained T-shirt, had a bald head, and bore irregular tattoos, as though 
he'd been doodling on himself. “Right,” said Dominic, “I have developed 
a new technique in the form of five questions which will deem whether 
or not you are fit to join society”. “Really?” said Conrad. “You'll let 
me go?” Dominic nodded. “Right, well fire away”. “First question. What 
could somebody do that would make you very happy?” “Let me out of this 
dump” said Conrad. Dominic nodded and wrote it on a notepad. “Question 
two. What can you not leave home without?” “This is my home, and if you 
let me go, I'd like to take the knife I always use at meal times. I've 
become quite attached to that”. “Very well, it's yours, if I let you 
walk out of here. Question three. How would your mother describe you?” 
Conrad frowned. “My mother's dead, she died six years ago, she couldn't 
describe me at all. What sort of question's that?” Dominic was quiet 
for a few seconds, deciding what to write down. He wrote something, 
then looked up at Conrad. “Question four. If you could be the best at 
anything in the world, what would it be?” “Cooking. I don't get much 
chance to practice in here”. “Question five. What's the biggest lie 
you've ever told?” “Biggest lie? Er...well, surely I would lie now 
wouldn't I if I was to give an answer to that, a lie such as: I'm 
really happy to be locked away in here, I wish I could stay much 
longer. There, that's the biggest lie I've ever told”. Dominic simply 
nodded, and scribbled something down on his paper. After a few moments, 
he looked up and said: “You're free to go”. Conrad jumped to his feet, 
a beaming smile on his face. “Really? Seriously? Fantastic”. He shook 
hands with Dominic, then turned and left. There, that went alright I 
think, Dominic thought. I have asked the same questions to them all, 
and now they should all be out there, amongst the public, back where 
they belong. My next patient is Lee Talbot. Apparently he's mentally 
damaged because one day, in a train station, waiting to travel to 
London, he was sitting reading a newspaper when student on a gap year 
passed by, and looked at him in a curious way. That was all he did, and 
Lee, who was carrying a steak knife at the time, because of his 
paranoia, got up, threw his paper down, took out his knife and ran at 
the student, slashing his throat and stabbing him six times. He then 
proceeded to stab the offending eyes, so he could no longer see him to 
look at him that way again. The door opened, and in he walked, sitting 
down opposite, with a dark yellow dressing gown and a vacant stare, not 
really seeing me at all. “Lee,” I said, “I've got five questions”. Lee 
nodded, and looked directly at me. “It's over,” he said, “I'm not 
playing your game anymore. Look at me, I look ridiculous in this stupid 
gown. I want my identity back, Lee” he said. 

I sighed, and sat back in the comfy leather chair in a sulk. It was nice
to play at role reversal for a while, inventing my own rules, and 
releasing my friends, who, I don't think will be too happy at finding 
out that they have to stay, but still, they'll get over it. “Can I have 
my suit back?” Dominic asked, standing up. “No,” said Lee, “I want to 
wear it for a bit longer”. “Right well move then,” said Dominic, moving 
around the desk. They swapped seats, and Dominic opened a drawer in the 
right side of the desk and took out a file, which he opened, removing a 
sheet of paper. “You've showed initiative today, Lee” he said, “and a 
vast improvement in your behaviour. You are now free to go back into 
society”.


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