main menu | youngsters categories | authors | new stories | search | links | settings | author tools |
The Old Turkey Trot (standard:humor, 390 words) | |||
Author: Everet | Added: Nov 30 2008 | Views/Reads: 3212/0 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
A wStory about a Thanksgiving Dinnr(Maybe) | |||
Thanksgiving Dinner WELL TURKEY DAY PASSED and I WANNA TELL YOU WE HAD A TIME. YOU SEE THERE WERE SOME WILD TURKEYS THAT HUNG AROUND OUR HOUSE AND I HAVE HAD MY EYE ON THEM ALL YEAR. A FEW DAYS BEFORE THANKSGIVING I DECIDED That I WAS GOING TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR MY THANKSGIVING DINNER. HECK. I THOUGHT. THEY ARE DUMB AND CAN'T FLY, SURELY THEY CAN'T RUN VERY FAST. THAT WAS A BIG ERROR IN JUDGEMENT ON MY PART. WELL HERE THEY CAME STROLLING ALONG MY BACK FENCE AND I KNEW I HAD IT MADE. "I'LL JUST WAIT TIL THEY GET TO THE CORNER AND I WILL HAVE THEM TRAPPED" THEY WERE GOING ALONG TALKING BACK AND FORTH AND NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ME AT ALL AS I SLOWLY EDGED CLOSER AND CLOSER. SOON I WAS WITHIN TWENTY FEET OF THEM AND THEY STILL WERE NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION SO THEN I MADE MY MOVE. I GOT CLOSER AND CLOSER THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. FIRST THEY TRIED TO RUN, BUT THE CORNER WAS THERE AND THEN THEY ATTACKED ME IN A BUNCH. BOY I MEAN THE FEATHERS AND MY SKIN WERE FLYING IN ALL DIRECTIONS. THEM TURKEYS FLOGGED ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE AND I ENDED UP RUNNING( FAST AS AN 86 YEAR OLD CAN (WHICH IS MORE LIKE A SNAIL) WITH THEM COMING ON STRONG. AFTER ABOUT TWENTY FEET I RAN OUT OF GAS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KILL ME. THEY WERE SQUAWKING AND PECKING AND CLAWING AND CARRYING ON AND I WAS YELLING FOR GOD OR SOMEONE TO SAVE MY WORTHLESS HIDE. I GUESS I WAS LUCKY WHEN MY NEIGHBOR, HEARING ALL THE NOISE CAME TO MY RESCUE. HE GRABBED A TREE LIMB AND STARTED SWINGING IT AND SOON THE TURKEYS HAD ENOUGH AND DECIDED TO DEPART THE AREA. I KNOW ONE THING IF I EVER DECIDE TO GET A WILD TURKEY, I AM GOING TO BE WELL ARMED WITH HEAVY ARTILLERY AND HAVE LOTS OF PROTECTIVE GEAR COVERING MY WITHERED BODY.( AND MAYBE HIRE A COUPLE OF BODY GUARDS FOR GOOD MEASURE).AND THAT IS WHY OUR TURKEY DINNER TURNED OUT TO BE HOTDOGS AND DIET PEPSI,WITH ME EATING FROM A WELL PADDED STOOL AND TAKING A LOT OF GUFF FROM THOSE WHO ENJOYED MY PAIN AND SUFFERING Tweet
Authors appreciate feedback! Please write to the authors to tell them what you liked or didn't like about the story! |
Everet has 9 active stories on this site. Profile for Everet, incl. all stories Email: Everet.harold@gmail.com |