It Matters To Me (standard:Flash, 717 words)
Author: Lori	Added: May 31 2008	Views/Reads: 3261/3	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This idea came to me today and I let the pen flow. Its a story about a woman realizing life isn't always a box of chocolates. You have to make the most of what you are giving and go on living. Sometimes that's all you're given.

It Matters to Me 

“Life isn't easy.” Jessica whispered looking in the mirror and saw the
woman looking back at her. “I knew that. We weren't promised easy. But 
you would think just once, for one tiny second, things would fall into 
place and life would be the way we pictured it to be.” 

“Jessica.” Her mother, Debra, said from behind her. “What is wrong with
you? Why so glum?” 

“I'm not really.” Jessica turned to face the woman who gave her life.
“I'm happy, Mother. I just don't understand.” 

“Understand what?” Debra walked over to sit down on the couch. “What's
to understand? Life is what we make it. You find a way to be content 
and go on.” 

“But,” Jessica, a bundle of nerves, felt like no one understood her. She
talked and talked until she was blue in the face, but no one would 
grasp the concept there had to be more to life then what they were 
telling her. In all her thirty-seven years no one has ever comprehended 
she wanted more. “If I'm only supposed to be content, then why do I 
feel like there's something I'm not doing with my life? How can I keep 
doing the things I do and justify the way I feel?” 

“Honey, you have a man who adores you, two children who are proud to
call you their mother. And you have a family who has stood beside you 
with every decision you made in life. What more could you ask for?” 
Debra was getting angry at her daughter for never listened to her words 
of advice. But then, Jessica always had to do things her own way. 
Oftentimes, it was the difficult, and painful, road. She prayed this 
wasn't one. 

“Love.” Jessica whispered while walking over to the bay window. 

The scene was amazing, but she couldn't bask in the beauty. Instead of
seeing the palm trees blowing in the wind, the bright blue sky, or the 
sun shining in all its glamorous glory, she saw darkness and clouds. 

“What did you say?” Debra sighed with contention. 

“Nothing.” Jessica watched the waves coming in from the ocean, watched
the sea gulls dive for a fresh lunch, and the surfer enjoying the 
wonders of the water. If only, she thought as she imagined the way her 
life would have gone had she only made a different choice here or 
there. 

“Are you ready?” Debra got up and walked over to her. 

“What?” Jessica pulled herself from her daydreaming to turn toward her
mother. 

“I asked if you were ready.” Debra smiled at the vision before her.
“It's almost time.” 

“Yeah. I guess so.” Jessica took a step only to feel doubt creep in once
again. 

“What is it?” Debra, walking over to her, asked one more time. She knew
it was fruitless. When Jessica got in one of these moods, it was hard 
to bring her out of it. 

“Nothing.” Jessica answered automatically. 

“Jessica,” Debra reached out and placed her hands on her daughter's
arms. “What does it matter? He's gone, no longer in your life, decided 
you weren't worth it. You have to go on with life Baby, live it for all 
it's worth. It's the only thing you can do.” 

“I guess,” Jessica said as she gathered the train of her wedding dress.
A dress she wanted to wear for one man, but instead is wearing for 
another. Love decided she wasn't suitable enough to enjoy, so it turned 
its back and she had to marry someone she didn't love. Jessica was 
pledging her life to someone for the sake of comfort and to have 
someone to grow old with. Would it be enough? She didn't really know, 
but felt she had no choice. “It only matters to me.” 

Jessica drew her shoulders back, lifted her chin, and walked out to a
life which, for some, might not be worth living. But she couldn't live 
in the past anymore. She had to move on and forget about the love of 
her life, since he obviously had forgotten about her. She didn't know 
what life held for her, but it had to be better than living alone. 
Jessica wondered if it wouldn't be worse to instead live a lie. 

© May 30, 2008 by Lori


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