How To Cash In On Your ‘Ailment Capital' (standard:Inspirational stories, 945 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Mar 20 2005	Views/Reads: 3529/2310	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Right after the president won his re-election bid for the White House, he made an interesting comment. He said he was going to spend his "political capital" wisely. At first, I did not understand what he was talking about, but then I began to

Right after the president won his re-election bid for the White House,
he made an interesting comment. He said he was going to spend his 
"political capital" wisely. 

At first, I did not understand what he was talking about, but then I
began to think about it. All his work in getting re-elected won him a 
certain amount of influence with the people who helped re-elect him. 

I never thought of it that way. But it got me thinking about my own
situation, so I began evaluating my capital. It certainly wasn't in my 
checkbook. 

Although I have lots of checks remaining, the bank insisted I didn't
have any capital in my account. According to the bank, the only capital 
I had was in my name. 

As I dug around in my life, I discovered I did earn capital and I needed
to figure out how to spend it wisely. 

The capital I'm talking about is my "ailment capital." My recent
illness, which necessitated me going to the hospital, certainly had 
earned me some spendable capital. The more I thought about it, the more 
excited I became, almost like putting on a pair of trousers and finding 
a $20 bill in the front pocket. 

I was anxious to begin spending my "ailment capital." After all, my
illness had cost me quite a bit and represented a major investment on 
my part. So now, I intended to get some payback. 

My first plan of action was to tell people about my illness. I had
rehearsed my story and knew it well. However, it was then I ran up 
against a block wall. It rather caught me off guard, if you know what I 
mean. 

The first person I met set my plan into action. Carefully I introduced
the subject of my stay in the hospital. Much to my bewilderment, they 
immediately began postulating on their recent visit to the hospital. 
According to them, their stay in the hospital was much more serious 
than my stay in the hospital. 

I slipped into the conversation, when I had the chance, that I
experienced the worse headache while in the hospital. 

"Headache?" They almost shouted to me. "You talk about headaches. I had
such a severe headache that the nurse gave me enough pain killer to put 
12 elephants out of their misery, and it never even touched my 
headache. The doctor told me that it was the worst headache he had ever 
seen in his entire life." 

When they took a breath, I jumped in and mentioned how high my
temperature was. 

"High-temperature? You talk about high-temperature; my temperature was
so high they had to put me in a tub of ice cubes for three days before 
my temperature even came down. The nurse told me that it was the worst 
case of high-temperature she had ever seen in her life." 

By this time, I was becoming a little discouraged and wondered if I
would ever be able to tell my story. Then I had a brilliant idea. I 
mentioned that while in the hospital I suffered a severe case of 
diarrhea. I could not imagine anybody trying to upstage someone with 
diarrhea. Boy, was I wrong. 

“Diarrhea? Did you say diarrhea?" I slowly nodded my head in the
affirmative. 

"When I was in the hospital I had such a severe case of diarrhea that I
stayed on the toilet for 30 days without getting up. My doctor told me 
it was the severest case of diarrhea he had ever read about." 

By this time I despaired ever cashing in any of my "ailment capital." It
seems such a shame for all that capital to go to waste. I thought I 
should give it at least one more try. 

Refusing to quit just yet, when the next lull in the conversation came I


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