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This One's Got Your Name On It (standard:science fiction, 4103 words) | |||
Author: Gavin J. Carr | Added: Feb 28 2005 | Views/Reads: 3382/2269 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
The past finally catches up to a veteran of a future war. | |||
It had taken him almost a year and a half to complete his memoirs. A year and a half of night sweats and nightmares. Of cold cramps in his belly and the blank screen with its mocking, flashing cursor. But now that it was finally over he felt melancholic, almost disappointed. Kovcheck hit the save key and flexed his fingers. When his therapist had first advised him to write his experiences down he had been dubious. How could raking the dead coals of the past bring him any peace? He wanted to forget, not play events over again in his mind, stitching them together and bringing them to life like a mad scientist in a cheap horror flick. But he had to admit that it had helped; helped a lot. For the first time since the war ended he felt as though he could maybe make a go of it. Get on with the act of living. He got up from the seat and went to the window. Outside, the leaves had fallen, the trees looking sad and anorexic. It was a good street, he thought. He hadn't noticed it before, but it was. Built in the revivalist style with broad tree lined road and large brick houses. Each of them was adorned with white picket fences and old ornamental mailboxes. Even though there was no such thing as “paper mail” anymore, you had to admire the designer's attention to detail. In his backyard, directly below the window, his kids were playing - kicking up the tidy mound of dead leaves that he had raked the day before. A year, hell, maybe even a month ago, he would have opened up the window and shouted down at them in irritation. Now, he only felt mild amusement at their antics and a sneaking desire to join them. Yes, he had spilled his guts onto the page, just as his comrades had spilled theirs on the battlefield. And he only felt better for it. His cigarettes were lying next to the keyboard and he took one from the pack and lit it. For him, tobacco was the gateway to nostalgia, memories unwinding with the blue-grey smoke. He picked up his notepad and flicked towards the back and opened it. The pages were tacky and well thumbed. The writing jagged and urgently slanted. If I'm going to do this, he thought, then I should do it right. He knew that what he had in front of him would never be published. It was the one part of the manuscript that could be designated top secret. Technically he could be arrested for even having scribbled it longhand. But it was never about being published. It was about exorcising those demons that had been slowly choking the life from him. He began to read... ...June 6th, 2095, 0400hrs, Saxa Vord, Shetland Isles. It was his last mission. They were saying the war was almost over, but they'd been saying that from the start. They took the skimmer from planet-fall, trusting the stealth-field and darkness to give them cover. It was hot in the cabin, the vibration from the engines enough to make him sick. Kovcheck knew he should grab some sleep, but every time he leaned his head against the fuselage the rattle snaked its way into his brain, making his teeth chatter. Instead, he checked his gun again for the hundredth time. He'd lost count on the number of bullshit missions he'd been on. The number of times he'd landed on an empty beachhead or missed a drop-zone. But this was different. They were kitted out with the latest hardware and the company had given them clearance to drop from orbit. Tao-Hyachi Company didn't spend that kind of money for nothing. Across the cabin from him was Frost, the company's science advisor. He was no soldier, and looked uncomfortable in battle dress and flak jacket, his eyes peering hauntingly from beneath his combat helmet. Kovcheck felt a wave of revulsion pass through him as he looked at the man. He resented his presence. His cold, analytical manner and the fact that he had command of the mission, of his men's lives. But most of all he resented what lay next to him, wrapped in tarpaulin. He resented the body shell. He thought of the briefing they'd been given back on Orbital and of his Click here to read the rest of this story (480 more lines)
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Gavin J. Carr has 22 active stories on this site. Profile for Gavin J. Carr, incl. all stories Email: gjc183@hotmail.com |