The Man I Fear (standard:drama, 2277 words)
Author: Lori	Added: Aug 24 2004	Views/Reads: 3487/2197	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A man makes a choice to stop his suffering. Be warned very graphic!

The Man You Fear 

By: Lori a.k.a cowgirl_11 

A man makes a choice to end his suffering. Be warned very graphic!
_____________________________________________________________ 

Steve takes the pen in hand feeling the need to get the words down on
paper. What words he doesn't know. How does one say goodbye to people 
you've hurt? How will the end justify the means? He doesn't know the 
answer to these questions.  He only knows he has to end it, has to stop 
the madness in his mind. In the background he can hear what his mother 
calls the devil's music. It's the one song he connects with. A song 
that seems to describe how and what he feels about himself. 

“The ants are in the sugar. 

The muscles atrophied 

We're on the other side, the screen is us and we're TV. 

Spread me open, 

Sticking to my pointy ribs, 

Are all your infants in abortion cribs? 

I was born into this. 

Everything turns to shit. 

The boy that you loved is the man that you fear.” 

Steve doesn't understand all the lyrics to the song, but they hit home
for some reason. He can see the man they fear, but he doesn't 
understand why. Steve looks at the paper before him, waiting to pour 
his soul into the last thing he'll write. 

“Dear Mom and Dad,” he writes. Steve cries listening to the chorus of
the song. 

“Pray until your number, 

Asleep from all your pain, 

Your apple has been rotting. 

Tomorrow's turned up dead.“ 

Steve feels that Marilyn Manson knows exactly what he's feeling when he
sings this song. His apple has fallen from the tree. It's been rotten 
for a long time. His tomorrows have all been used. For him it boils 
down to what he writes on these pieces of paper. 

“You told me I'm dead to you. I'm making your dreams a reality. After
today, I won't be around to cause you any more grief or pain. You've 
never understood me, nor have you tried. Instead of trying to get to 
the root of the problem, you threw up your hands and said, “Fuck it!”. 
When you did that, in my mind, you also said, “Fuck you, Son!”. 

“You said I wasn't your son anymore. I don't think you could've hurt me
more with those words. I hope that with my death, you can see me for 
what I am. When they clean me up, maybe you can see the man I've 
become, not the freak everyone thinks I am.” 

Tears run down Steve's face. It messes up the make-up, but that doesn't
matter now. Instead of having fake tearstains, real ones mix in. It 
feels like mixings his inside with his outside. Maybe people will see 
the pain he's been carrying around. 

“I have it all and I have no choice but to, 

I'll make everyone pay and you will see. 

You can kill yourself now, 


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