Voices (standard:other, 363 words)
Author: Hope	Added: Jul 13 2004	Views/Reads: 3422/2	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I guess this is something everyone expriences about the voices in their heads, these are mine.

When the day is coming to an end and everything around me is silent.
There is no one around except me and the voices in my head. 

There are days that scare me. The voices ask me questions. 

Why do I do certain things in certain ways? 

Why would I not walk away from a bad relationship? 

Why I wouldn't tell my father how I feel? 

Why I show people myself in different lights and portray to be someone I
am not? 

Who am I protecting myself from? 

My demons they haunt me. They come to me when I am incapable to protect
myself, in my dreams. 

I was afraid to sleep for years.That was the one place I could do
nothing for myself.To defend myself.To protect myself.I was just an 
outsider looking at myself getting hurt.Watching myself walking the 
wrong way and no matter how loud I screamed to tell myself stop not 
that way, or take that step it is safe.I could never hear anything. No 
one could hear me. All I could do was watch myself.Feel helpless wonder 
what is the next thing that would walk up behind me and harm me. 

I am afraid.I don't know of who? someone else or myself. 

I built walls.Very big and strong walls around my heart and my soul and
every time I have put them down I have gotten hurt.Thinking maybe this 
time it would be safe to walk freely and something always came and hurt 
me. 

When would I be safe? When would I be unafraid? 

I feel at times there isn't only me who lives in me, but there are many
me's. The girl who loves, the girl who wants to make the whole world 
happy, who wants to protect anyone hurting, and then I see this one 
girl who is very afraid, she's angry, she's insecure.She knowingly 
hurts people around her so they would go away.She purposely does things 
to make others dislike her.Especially the people who matter.She doesn't 
trust anyone. Wants to love but is afraid to take the risk. 

How many people really do live in me I wonder? 

What do they want, what do I want? 


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