Dad (standard:other, 719 words)
Author: timster	Added: Jun 17 2004	Views/Reads: 3580/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Why do we always forget?

So many times I've flown into this airport.  There are times it has been
too many, yet in my mind not enough. The gray overcast with a tinge of 
brown surrounds the city, as it always seems to do.  This will be the 
last time a flight will bring me here. It has been years since I 
visited this place, though the memories are good and bad, I prefer the 
good today.  LAX, the hub of Southern California, located just minutes 
from the Pacific; has always home to me. 

The bus is at the curb, waiting to take me to my car.  You can't live
without a car here, they are as important as a house in this land.  In 
my daze, the freeway is before me as I regain my thoughts.  Without 
even thinking I go north on the 405.  It may be the long way, but there 
are things I must see. 

The off-ramp for the Coliseum is upon me.  Many football games were held
there, the Rams, Raiders, yet I never did see either play there in 
person, just on T.V.  I often wonder why we didn't.  Maybe it was the 
money, time, or the area, possibly all three, it doesn't matter 
anymore. 

Soon I'm on the Ventura Freeway and passing Griffith Park.  Dodger
Stadium is there and a faint memory enters my thoughts.  An afternoon 
at the ballpark with Sandy Koufax pitching is what I remember most.  
Just the two of us sitting in the stands cheering him on and he didn't 
disappoint us; shut out the Phillies 3-0.  Something's never leave you 
memories, just wish we could have had more. 

I went to elementary school around this area.  The San Fernando Valley,
once home to the middle class, fresh and young as I was, is not how I 
remember.  Time has a way of changing things and it has taken a toll on 
the valley and me.  My best memories come from this area.  Catching the 
Horny Toad Lizards, learning about music and finding out about 
friendship.  Dad wasn't home much later in our life there.  He was out 
making a better life for us; priorities change, as we get older. 

There were so many things I needed to tell him and never did.  Neither
of us was great at communicating, especially when intimate thoughts 
were concerned.  It was something you were just supposed to know.  In 
his eyes, I'm sure I was a failure.  Compared to him, could I've been 
anything else.  He was successful at everything he did.  My sisters 
accomplished theirs, my stepbrother did his and I seem to be the one 
that didn't.  Success has changed for me as it did him.  The goals for 
me have changed.  Once I was pretty successful in the computer world 
and left it behind. Not only did I leave my career behind, I left my 
family behind.  It will take years to fix my relationship with my kids, 
though I know in the end, I will.  He tried to teach me that in the 
end. 

The car takes me past Santa Anita Racetrack.  We spent a bit of time
there when I was younger.  He would pay and place our kids bets.  Maybe 
that's where I got a fancy for it.  Years later, he would take the 
train or drive and meet me at Del Mar, to watch and bet on the ponies.  
Those were some great times.  Perhaps I will go down there while I'm 
here. 

The house looks the same; he became quite an avid gardener and was quite
good at it.  How could it be anyway else?  Inside the house still looks 
the same, well kept, with nice decor.  I see him all throughout the 
house.  The only thing lacking is the cigar smell. 

I'm not sure why it took so long for me to realize his importance on my
life.  Yes I've been selfish, moving 2000 miles from home.  Leaving my 
family far behind, hurting them.  Life has come to the point of 
rectifying it.  He taught me to not give up and I shall not. 

Today, I'm a part-time writer, part-time farmer, full-time factory
worker, and married to the most wonderful person I have ever known.  I 
think he would approve now, I'm happy for the first time. 


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