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Team Penguin (standard:humor, 818 words) | |||
Author: TDK | Added: Oct 03 2003 | Views/Reads: 3837/3 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
Cool sophisticated Penguins that decide to leave their Arctic home and travel the world. | |||
TEAM PENGUIN Chapter 1 By TDK Hi my name is Stuck. You know back in the day when penguins ruled the Earth, we had a whale of a time, our home never melted, there were plenty more fish in the sea, and all very tasty. In fact we've been paying the price ever since you humans fell out of your trees, and decided to change things. That's why we decided to move north and see what all the fuss is about. “This looks like a nice place Stuck, what's it called?” said Beak. 4-1-5, this is it, “my flippers are kill'in me.” As we hopped up the path, I can remember the feeling I had in my stomach. I wasn't sure if it was asking or complaining? We had spoken to Trev on the Internet lots of times, he seem OK for a human, easy going, very friendly; which was fortunate as it had slipped my mind to tell him we were Penguins; or that we were coming to stay. Trev's face was a mixture of emotions when we met. Surprise, turning to confusion, and morphing into worry as we greeted him with an extended flipper. “We're your vacation buddies to Andorra?” I said. Whilst it was true, we had talked about skiing in the Pyrenees; the last thing Trev expected; was me and Beak to turn up unannounced, looking like Penguins. “But we're naturals!” I said. Trev was having none of it, and said we could stay for a few days until we could arrange a flight back, as he was leaving the very next morning. As we broke the ice over cocktails well into the evening, Trev relented and agreed to let us accompany him, on the proviso we kept the lowest of profiles. I suspected the journey might be no frills, but nothing we Pens have ever done could prepare us for economy. I remember my beak hitting the floor with a thud, as Trev's suitcase gave birth to us. “Tell me we're here, and your not declaring us at customs Trev?” I said, as I hopped out and up onto the window ledge. “Wow!” I'd never seen a mountain of snow before. “How do we get up there?” My beak dropped as Trev answered by pushing a lift pass into it. Cool, who's Dave Jones? I thought as the door to the Gondler swished open the next morning. Slowly, they creaked and swayed their way to the top, as several phrases in various languages punctuated the awkward stares. They looked like sardines I thought, “Oi, mind the flippers!” You humans do well on concrete, but put you guys on the ice and your non-stop entertainment. When we could take no more laughter, we decided to hop into the Alpine Diner for sard's on toast, where we bumped into a group of ski instructors on one of their many breaks. (no pun intended, hehehe) So we swaped stories, and imparted our years of experience, when we discovered there was going to be an Ecco style challenge, on the piste, the very next day. So shaking them warmly by the flippers we set off to register, and found that a human wasn't optional, damn. We'll have to swallow our pride and collar Trev. Team Penguin was born, and we reeked of awesomeness, our nerves were soon replaced with gold fever, until we retired to bed swatting the tough but fair rules. The next morning complacency, and mixed laughter filled the air as we approached the start line. Cheek! I don't think ‘Team Meat-head' had the foggiest that their costumes were going to be a hindrance, in this mother of all duels. The tasks included “Hide ‘n' Seek”, “S.O.S” and “Survival” as cheers encouraged our ruthlessness to succeed. “Team Pen-guino, Team Pen-guino.” We tucked several under our belts, when the weather took a turn for the worst, and visibility dropped to but a few metres. No problem for us Pens, but all the humans abandoned the mountain for tea and chocolate, in the diner that heaved into applause as we arrived. Respect was dew, and given, as we were greeted by one of the more tasty looking humans, who said: “ Ola, Team Pen-guino? Congrate, you 1st classificat.” The penguin bosom heaved with honour as we lifted our gold. No more were we second-class citizens, no more clumsy birds in over dressed tuxedo's, recognition, Penguins on top again! Sorry, little carried away there. It was drinks all round as we toasted our success in the Quo Vardis bar. They showed out-takes of the days action, and we tucked into a selection of bar snacks, posed for pictures, and took every opportunity to hand out the penguin web-sit'e URL: www.------.supanet.com I'm not sure who carried me back to my room, but it could take years for them tail feathers to grow back. Taken from the forthcoming book “Team Penguin” Tweet
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