The Best Practical Joke I Ever Saw (standard:humor, 791 words)
Author: Jim Spence	Added: Aug 04 2003	Views/Reads: 8676/3	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Now, if I only knew who played it on me ...

The Best Practical Joke I Ever Saw 

I've never been much for playing practical jokes on people, nor have I
been on the receiving end very often.  The biggest practical joke I 
ever played on anyone was on April Fools Day ... I had our secretary 
leave a phone message for a co worker for him to call Myra Mains, and I 
left a phone number.  The number was to one of our local funeral homes. 


Think about it. 

Far and away, though, the best practical joke I've ever seen played on
anybody was unleashed on me – and to this day, I don't know who it was. 


My 40th birthday was on a Saturday, and, while I anticipated the
possibility of some sort of surprise, the one I received was so good I 
was honored to be its recipient. 

On the Tuesday before my birthday, I received a letter from Playboy
magazine thanking me for my subscription, and, as soon as I sent them 
my check for $58, they'd be happy to mail me the first issue.  I 
assumed this was just a marketing ploy and threw the letter out. 

The next day I received a large packet of literature from a bank in
North Carolina, showing me all of their retirement and investment 
options.  I still didn't see the pattern going here, so I also threw 
this package away. 

Thursday's mail brought a very official snap off letter addressed from
some branch of the federal government ... you know the type - you have 
to tear off both ends before opening.  When I opened it, I discovered 
that it was actually for my family ... explaining to them the benefits 
they would receive upon my death.  Now I knew something fishy was going 
on. 

The day before my birthday brought a package from an investment firm
showing me, among other things, ways that I could retire in ten years.  
This was getting interesting. 

Saturday, my 40th birthday, came.  By now, not only was I anticipating
the delights of a birthday, I was anxious for the mail to come and see 
what my practical joke bandit sent. 

I should say that, once I figured out that I was being had, I told
everybody I knew about it.  It was a good joke, and I wanted whoever 
was responsible to know that ... and, I kinda wanted them to fess up. 

The mail came ... only this time the front screen door was opened and
shut – meaning the postman had left a package too big to fit in the 
mailbox.  Oh, goody!  A present! 

Opening the door and expecting to find a gift, I was surprised to find a
large, clear plastic covered, cardboard treasure chest ... 12” by 16” 
and 4” deep.  It weighed 10 pounds.  Upon opening, I discovered the 
treasure chest filled to the brim with color glossy advertisements for 
a retirement village in Florida.  The package also included a video 
tape extolling the virtues of the village. 

The practical joke bandit struck again ... this time with a vengeance. 

And then ... nothing happened.  I told everybody I knew about the joke
played on me, and no one admitted being the bandit. 

If I had played a joke this good on someone, I'd be bragging about it
for years. 

I decided to do a little detective work.  I called Playboy magazine and
told them the story.  I asked them if they had a copy of a subscription 
application ... a card or a letter that someone would have sent in.  
Turns out they did.  They mailed it to me.  I opened the envelope and 
there was a small, square card, the kind you pull out of a magazine, 
fill out and mail in.  In large block letters was my name and address.  
Very neat printing ... and quite impossible to recognize. 

So, I was had. 

A few years later, I got another package from that retirement village in
Florida.  It seems that every few years they send additional literature 
out to everyone on their mailing list.  I called them up and explained 
to them that, at the time, I had been a victim of a practical joke; I 
hadn't really requested any literature from them, and they didn't have 
to waste it on me since I was still in my early 40s.  I was asked “do 
you plan on retiring some day?”  Of course, I said yes, so I was told 
that they'd like to keep me on their mailing list. 

So, every few years I receive a package that reminds me that I was the
butt of the best practical joke I ever saw, and I still don't know who 
it was. 

Excellent job.  You got me. 


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