Behind the Eight Ball (standard:other, 474 words)
Author: Michael Gates	Added: Mar 11 2003	Views/Reads: 5268/2540	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A dialogue with an Eight Ball proves revealing.

--Give it here. I'll shake it good! 

--No, just turn it over--that'll work. 

--Ah, but will it work? Or will it spout a lot of cryptic nonsense? 

--You could ask it that! 

--Ha! Hello? Hello? Is anybody home? 

--It says, "YES." 

--Hey, Mr. Eight Ball, will I ever win the lottery? 

--How do you know it's not MS. Eight Ball? Hmm, "BETTER NOT TELL YOU
NOW." 

--What good is he? 

--It's bored with money questions, I think. That's what everyone asks
about. 

--That's what everyone wants to know. What else is there to ask about? 

--Love? 

--Uhhh . . . . 

--Never mind. How about what Peggy Lee sings about in that old song: "Is
that all there is?" 

--All there is to life, you mean.  Mr. Eight Ball, is there life after
death? 

--Don't shake so hard! Give it here . . . . "IT IS DECIDEDLY SO." 

--All right! Something to look forward to. Here's another question: Will
my luck hold out? 

--It says, "CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN." 

--Pfffft. Eight Ball, will Fortuna keep smiling on me? 

--"MY SOURCES SAY NO." 

--Sources? I've got my own sources. All I have to do is score one more
kilo. 

--Spare me the details. 

--My ship is docking. I can feel it . . . . 

--You'll just assume whatever you want, then, no matter what it says? 

--Yeah. What's the sense in asking an Eight Ball to solve the mysteries
of life? 

--At least it's revealed what's on your mind. 

--Whatever. Let's ask how he knows so much, anyway--or thinks he does. 

--Uh, I'm afraid you'll have to phrase that as a yes or no question. 

--Oh, right. Well . . . . Eight Ball, do you have a direct link to the
man upstairs? Are you tuned in to the Cosmic Muffin? Are you God's 
mouthpiece? 

--That's three questions. 

--No, it's one question. 

--Let's see . . . . "YOU MAY RELY ON IT"! 

--Saying it doesn't make it so, of course. He could be taking dictation
from some demon. 


Click here to read the rest of this story (33 more lines)