Double Talk (standard:humor, 262 words)
Author: J P St. Jullian	Added: Jan 03 2003	Views/Reads: 3615/1	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I suppose any explanation is better than none

Double Talk 

by St. Jullian 

In early 1960 this small Nebraska town newspaper operated with an old
fashioned press which was at best difficult to use.  It was impossible 
to operate if you had a hangover, which was the case for all of the 
three employees and the editor after a full day and night of partying 
at a New Year's eve party.  As a result, the morning paper was two days 
behind.  The editor gave this explanation: 

"Our paper is two days late and I sincerely apologize," he wrote, 
"owing to an accident to our press.  When we started to run the press 
the other night, as usual, one of the guy ropes gave way, allowing the 
forward glider fluke to fall and break as it struck the flunker 
flopper.  This, of course, as anyone who knows anything about a press 
will readily understand, left the gang-plank with only the flip flap to 
support it, which also dropped and broke off the wooper-chock.  This 
loosened the fluking from between the ramrod and the flibber-snatcher, 
which also caused trouble.  The report that the delay was caused by the 
over-indulgence of stimulants by newspaper staff is a tissue of 
falsehoods!  The peeled appearance of my right eye was caused by my 
going into the hatchway of the press in my anxiety to start it, and 
pulling the coupling pin after the slap bang was broken, which caused 
the dingus to rise up and welt me in the right side of my face.  We 
expect a brand new glider fluke in the afternoon mail." 


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