Accidents Can Happen (standard:humor, 650 words)
Author: J P St. Jullian	Added: Sep 03 2002	Views/Reads: 3575/1	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Additional information requested by OSHA on an incomplete accident reporting form. Hilarious!

Accidents Can Happen 

One should always strive to keep their wits about them and never lose
their presence of mind . . . . . 

There once was a poor, unfortunate bricklayer who had an accident at
work one day while working alone. Because the company had a policy that 
no one was to work alone on the construction site, his boss forced him 
to dictate the accident report himself while he was still in the 
hospital. They then filled out the accident reporting form and sent the 
report off to their OSHA agent. 

Upon receiving the report form, the OSHA agent had some questions, and
promptly wrote back and asked for additional information.  Here is the 
additional information they were sent in letter form: 

“I am writing in response to your request for additional information.
You were wondering about block number three of the accident reporting 
form, where I put, "poor planning", as the cause of my accident.  You 
said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that 
the following details will be sufficient. 

As you now know, I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building.  
When I completed my work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of 
brick left over.  Rather than carry the bricks down by hand a few at a 
time, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which, 
fortunately, was attached to the side of the building, at the sixth 
floor. 

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out, and loaded the brick into it.  Then I went back to the 
ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent 
of the 500 pounds of bricks.  You will note in block number eleven of 
the accident reporting form that I weigh only 135 pounds. 

It really was quite a surprise, you know, being jerked off the ground so
suddenly!  In fact, I was so shocked that I lost my presence of mind 
and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say, I  proceeded at a 
rather rapid rate up the side of the building. 

In the vicinity of the third floor, ( or was it the fourth), I met the
barrel coming down, and collided with same.  This explains the 
fractured skull and broken collarbone. 

My encounter with the barrel slowed me only slightly, so I continued my
rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were 
buried two knuckles deep into the pulley mechanism. 

Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. 

At approximately the same time, however, the wooden barrel containing
the bricks hit the ground with a crash.....and the bottom fell out of 
the barrel.  Devoid of the weight of bricks, the barrel now weighed 
approximately fifty pounds. 

I refer you again to my weight in block number eleven.  As you might
imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. 

In the vicinity of the third or fourth floor, I encountered the barrel
again coming up.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the 
lacerations of my legs and lower body. 

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries
when I fell onto the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three 
vertebrae were cracked and one leg broken. 

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks - in
almost unbearable pain, unable to stand due to broken, cracked and 
fractured bones, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me - I 
again lost my presence of mind.............. 

I LET GO OF THE ROPE........... 


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